The only thing I’m genuinely happy I lost in this divorce is her. My only real regret is not divorcing her earlier.

She made the divorce a thousand times harder than it ever needed to be. Her legal bill for the first year alone is about 200,000. Mine are roughly 38,000 for the first year plus around another 100,000 over the following three years, so about 138,000 total in my own legal fees.

Now she wants to treat legal fees (1st year until divorce decree) as marital and split them 50/50. Under Louisiana law, my lawyer is telling me there is basically no way around it: I have to pay 50% of her fees and she pays 50% of mine. Her dad paid all her legal fees.

On the asset side, I was the one grinding. I worked two jobs. I used to leave the house at 4 a.m., sometimes get back at midnight, sometimes sleep in my car between shifts. Most of the time I ate garbage food like McDonald’s or Burger King because we were trying to save, buy a home, and invest. We bought a house for about 500,000. I had around 70,000 in my 401(k), and roughly 255,000 in investments between my Roth IRA, crypto, and brokerage accounts. She come from wealthy family and her family did help here and there with the kids and sometimes help pay mortgage.

She was basically a stay at home mom with the kids. After the divorce she ended up as the primary parent, so I pay child support, plus 75% of tuition, plus extracurriculars, health care, and medications. The 75% is based on our incomes.As she started working. I basically became the “holidays and vacation” dad. I fought hard in court, spent the money, and still lost. The judge clearly does not like me, or at least that’s exactly how it feels.

Because she got the kids, we agreed she would get the house. The mortgage rate on that house is 2.75% and there was about 350k in equity. The agreement was that she keeps the house and finishes paying it, and I take 100,000 out of the investments so I can buy myself a new place, which ended up at around a 6% interest rate. We only wrote down that she gets full ownership of the house. My stupid mistake: we never put in writing anything about that 100,000 I pulled from our investment account for my new home.

Three years later she drags me back to court for “asset division” and here is how it looks now.

She already got the house and that equity. She also took a brand new Tesla we bought about six months before the divorce. Now she wants me to pay 50% of the Tesla payments she made after the divorce, minus the current value of the Tesla. The car has tanked in value, I never drove it, and I didn’t benefit from it at all.

Here is roughly what she is asking for: • We had about 325,000 in investments. She wants 50% of that, which is about 162,500. • She wants around 100,000 from me as my share of her lawyer fees. • In theory she would pay me about 19,000 as her share of my lawyer fees. • She wants about 48,000 related to the Tesla (payments she made after divorce minus the current value).

Just those four pieces together are something like: 162,500 + 100,000 − 19,000 + 48,000 ≈ 291,500.

On top of that: • She is counting every penny her family ever gave us as a “loan,” around another 100,000, and wants me to cover 50% of that, so about 50,000. • She kept detailed records of her premarital money, about 100,000, that she brought in and that we “used.” In reality she mainly burned it on cosmetic procedures and girls’ trips, but she still has records to claim it. • I had about 70,000 in premarital funds of my own from 15 years ago, but my bank only goes back 7 years, so I cannot prove it. As far as the court is concerned, I am basically screwed on that part. • She also threw in a pile of random bills and expenses that she says I should share.

When you stack all of that together, she is effectively asking for around 420,000 from me?

The money she is chasing is the same pot I already drained just to survive the divorce and get a place to live.

Here is what I actually have left from that original investment pot: • Start with the original investments. • Minus 100,000 that I used for my new home down payment. • Minus around 177,000 I have spent on lawyers over time. • Minus about 50,000 I put into renovations and furnishing my new home.

By the time you subtract all that, there is basically nothing left. I cannot just pull 420,000 out of thin air for her, and on top of that, after all this, I barely even get to see my kids. And have to pay her child support? The only thing I have is my 401k that’s now at 200k but she also is entitled to appreciation and I contribute about 44k since +/- market change. So idk And now I am working only one job and I am barely surviving because my field is dying due to automation so idk how to cope with the loss of money and loss of my kids and bounce back.

Actually bouncing back isn’t even in the horizon but how am I going to survive? Will my house be sold and I go to the street? Like wtf marriage is the biggest scam any man can fall for