I hate to be that person, but I went to law school, and I have a lot of respect for the legal system. Coming from a different country (not America), where judges take their decisions seriously and view their role as a responsibility rather than a power, I initially trusted that the legal system here would be fair. My lawyer assured me the judge was impartial, and everyone said the same thing. I wanted to believe that, but as time has passed, I've started to reconsider everything. My last court appearance was about a year ago, and looking back, even though the judge seemed nice and fair, she really did me dirty.

Here’s why:

1) She approved everything my ex requested, every sports activity, every camp, every daycare without considering my schedule or whether I could even take the kids to those things. It’s become such a huge financial burden and a logistical nightmare. The more I fail to meet these demands, the more I risk being accused of contempt of court, and this judge has been approving all those contempt motions against me.

2) Of the few things I asked for, most were simple requests, but only two things were granted: first, the exchange of the kids should happen between our homes, taking into account the distance; second, the school bus stop should be between our homes. While the judge agreed to those points in court, she never put them in writing, and now that I’m moving to a new address, the school is asking for a formal judgment. Upon reviewing the judgment, I realized it wasn’t included in the official order, which is a problem. Additionally, many of the other things I asked for were completely ignored or never addressed.

This brings me to a broader issue: I’m not American by birth, but it seems to me like there’s this ongoing "Cold War" between men and women in this country. A lot of women seem to embrace the feminist perspective, where men are often viewed as the enemy or bad guys. I looked at my judge—she’s in her 40s, single, dresses in casual, almost masculine clothes, doesn’t have children or a family of her own. It seems like she doesn’t believe in traditional family values, and from the way she presents herself, I know she's, hooking up, dating men who ghost her afterward. To be honest, I don’t see why any man would want to stick around with her, and I can’t help but think she may harbor some resentment toward men because of that. How can I be expected to trust that someone like her could be unbiased in a custody case?

And here's another thing I don't understand: Everyone in America seems to know how women can play the "abused woman" card and manipulate the system, alienating fathers and using all kinds of tactics. Yet, judges continue to award custody to mothers based on nothing more than her word, even when it's clear that she's lying. If a woman is proven to have fabricated her claims, why are there no consequences for her actions? Why does the system continue to give her the benefit of the doubt, even when it’s evident that she’s not telling the truth? why everyone knows those games but the judges seem they are ignorant