How to survive financially

No-Tomorrow8150 · 2024-12-29T03:51:24+00:00

Don’t engage in cross actions to minimize legal costs. Only for stuff related to kids. Everything else will be settled through negotiations just prior to trial. Just file objections to motions which should not cost a lot. All the back and forth is wasted resources. Minimize any communication with ex and her attorneys.

Unusual_University14 · 2024-12-28T02:12:46+00:00

I'm 3.5 years in, almost 1 year since final orders. My most expensive month was November this year. Next year will be worse. I'm closing in on $100k spent (ex is somewhere between $200-300k).

You have sole custody so you're in the drivers seat because child support is always modifiable and is a hedge against any financial games she plays.

I have to be very mercenary about my time and MORE importantly my emotional energy. You have only so many fucks on a given day, and if you spent on your ex you have none left to make more money or have creativity to limit expenses, et al.

First and foremost, you need to do what you can to make her background radiation and focus on your finances and your kids. It may mean putting shit on credit cards. I would try to keep up the retirement if you can for one reason... retirement funds are immune from bankruptcy generally. (You can't just start dumping money in there and then file for bankruptcy, but if you maintain what you've been doing for years, you should be fine).

Let every other asset burn before retirement funds.

47omek · 2024-12-27T22:36:52+00:00

Yes, you have to cut all expenses to the bone and weather the storm. Put attorney fees on credit cards if you have to. If you know she's going to be unreasonable, direct your attorney to aim for trial as quickly as possible. Stop the expensive endless back and forth of offers, mediation etc that are just churning attorney fees. Get a trial date as soon as you possibly can and prepare for trial. Quite often your STBX will get much more reasonable on the walk up the courthouse steps and a deal can be done at that time since otherwise she's facing the prospect of a stranger in robes deciding her fate.

Title	How to survive financially
Author	Icerunner45
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	December 27, 2024 9:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hnp6wz/how_to_survive_financially/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-to-survive-financially.1539683 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539683

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