Long story short, my wife ran away with her mom multiple states away and took our 2 kids. She said they were hers and I would never see them again. She’s harassed me at work since August, made about every type of false accusation of abuse, and demanded my work order me to give her money. She blocked my family, most of my friends, and me on social media. I had to get an emergency court hearing and received sole physical custody of our kids. She fired her lawyer and hired a new extremely annoying and demanding one that keeps trying to change the next court date for the final order.

She has continued to post on social media trying to portray herself as this wonderful mom and strong, resilient, independent, beautiful, brave, and any other feminist buzzword you can think of. This week she’s starting trashing me online too. It’s things that are not necessarily untrue, so it’s not libel, but we were married for over 12 years and she is trying to defame me with personal things between us. Of course all her friends and some of my friends’ wives are commenting on her post talking about how great she is and how terrible I am. I spoiled the mess out of her. I treated her amazingly. I was on track to have over $10mil in retirement savings by the time I was going to retire at 62. I am about to retire from the military and was planning to go to the airlines. I took her on multiple vacations every year. I did most of the cooking, housekeeping, and almost everything with the kids after school and on the weekends.

I think she has always been unable to be happy. There is always something to complain about. She has always had the option to be a stay at home mom. About 3-4 years ago, she decided she wanted to work and told me it was because she wants to feel independent. She said she wanted to feel like if I left her she would be fine. I’ve continually reassured her I would never leave her. Fast forward to now and she’s the one being extremely spiteful, vindictive, and immature. She’s caused so much trauma to our kids, but of course she has to claim she’s the traumatized one because I asked her to stop spending thousands shopping every month if she wanted to take another vacation this year.

Sorry this turned more into a rant. The point was to ask what is the best way to deal with the constant defamation. She has tried to ruin me in every way - professionally, mentally, legally, socially. I’ve been taking the high road and ignoring it. I don’t want to give her any possible ammo to use against me. She’s been caught in so many lies and can’t control her emotions. She refuses to coparent without vicious accusations. She pretended to be nice while she got the kids over thanksgiving, then went right back to publicly insulting me and telling the world very private and embarrassing information. How do you handle it?