Mediation experiences

First-Sail8421 · 2025-01-14T03:52:17+00:00

It’s worth a try but important to have a solid mediator who can talk sense into her. A weak mediator who just relays positions won’t be productive. I tend to like retired judges who can say, ‘I know what a judge would do, because I used to be one.’

Strong-Adeptness270 · 2025-01-14T03:08:56+00:00

I just got done with 2 sessions of meditation. The first one was very productive, and landed me in a much better position.

I hoped the 2nd one would resolve the whole divorce process. Instead, she decided to be super difficult, unfair and selfish forcing me to proceed to trial. I am still reeling with disappointment and frustration from that second session; I can't even believe someone could be such a terrible person, let alone the mother of my kids.

At least I'm still in the improved position from the 1st one, and that will carry on for months. I've heard a lot of success in mediation, unless she decides to be a total bitch like mine did

It's probably worth a go if there's something you want from her; but it sounds like you're in a strong place already and she stands to gain more from mediation than you do. Make her pay for it, and wtf is wrong with these women anyways?

Unusual_University14 · 2025-01-13T23:42:02+00:00

Mediation works only when two sides want to reach a deal that both will accept. I can't speak to what your ex-wife's intent is, but considering some of the backstory, I wouldn't be better on a fair settlement emerging.

Some jurisdictions require you to attempt mediation... in that sense, it's just another box to check anyway.

Some jurisdictions you cannot use what happens or what is offered in mediation as evidence. It is VERY important to know what the rules are where you live regarding it.

It can't hurt UNLESS you are the type who will give in under a marathon session to end it. Go in asking for more, knowing what you'll accept and don't let anything other than what's best for your kids and what's best for you drive what you say yes to.

TXJohn83 · 2025-01-13T22:49:16+00:00

It's not all or nothing but you might try to get the no/low conflict items out of the way...

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2025-01-13T22:23:36+00:00

She has nothing to loose and everything to gain.

What’s your attorney telling you likely outcome at trial?

If the lawyer says 50/50 custody and $2,500/mo alimony for 5 years - then I’d go to 70/30 (your favor) and $1,000/mo alimony at mediation. Your job is to convince her that she’s going to do worse at trial. That being said, she has to start the negotiations.

Read “Never Split the Difference” by Christoper Voss. It’s a fantastic read

Smoovie32 · 2025-01-13T22:09:14+00:00

What is there to mediate? I would approach this as every interaction with her is an opportunity for her to cause you problems. That said, you clearly have more to lose in this situation as you already have sole custody. Anything that risks that I would reject out of hand.

You note that “almost all” her DV allegations have been disproven. Is that a phrasing issue or was there something there?

Title	Mediation experiences
Author	Icerunner45
Upvotes	10
Comments	11
Date	January 13, 2025 10:03 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1i0pzrb/mediation_experiences/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/mediation-experiences.1541176 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541176

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