I need a hug

expendable4341 · 2020-01-30T16:51:04+00:00

Huge hug buddy. Your doing the right thing reaching out.

If you haven't already try a therapist. I found one at the local university that was very cheap. I can only say it helped me out tremendously.

InWeGoNow · 2020-01-30T17:29:00+00:00

Giving you a hug.

I don't know if you have kids, but I found separation (soon divorce) to be the same amount of life adjustment. It messes up your schedule. It takes effort. There will be bad times. But above it all, it's so incredibly worth it.

Wishing you luck.

mehmench · 2020-01-30T18:02:12+00:00

Honestly man - do you have some close friends? There were times when things were the worst when my best friends were the best and they gave me great hugs.

I called my mother and cried, I called my former scoutmaster (who happens to be my Stepdad now - long story - sounds sordid but isn't) and he has really helped. My father and I aren't on great terms.

Friends give good hugs, it's not the same as a lover or a wife but it is what it is. You don't have that now. It's a tough adjustment.

As pathetic as I am, I signed up on some dating apps not because I wanted a date - I wanted to see if any pretty (shallow) girls would just 'like' me. Don't want to talk to them or anything like that. Just needed a validation from the cosmos that I might be attractive to someone out there. My soon to be EX-Wife and I are still in the same house. She's on the couch. We may move her into one of the boy's rooms until she can get her own place. I'm hoping that within the next month or so she can get out. It's pretty terrible in this house right now.

Dudebag07 · 2020-02-01T17:28:25+00:00

Hugs are for everyone! I feel your pain.

A big reason I’m leaving my marriage is because of affection. I’m an affectionate man. And it’s no secret. You can’t live your life with someone who cringes when you touch them and never need you physically.

Tough road ahead for you. But I’m sure hugs will be in your future. Hang in there.

Red_Liner740 · 2020-01-30T17:38:09+00:00

If I was there’d I’d give you a huge hug man...no shame in that!

As bleak as it looks, you’ll look on this time and be glad it’s over and your life is much better now.

medic4401 · 2020-01-30T20:55:50+00:00

Look for a support group in your area. Your not alone

kordeliakuthbert · 2020-01-30T21:33:23+00:00

I joined a mens alanon group. Works wonders.

Grousers · 2020-01-30T22:55:46+00:00

It takes a bigger man to ask. Best wishes brother. I’m in the same boat. Every time I look at my little ones my heart hurts.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2020-01-31T19:19:37+00:00

It is going to be ok. It might take some time and some days will be worse than others but eventually, it will be ok.
You should check out therapy, with a good therapist. It won't give you a physical hug but it can provide a mental hug.
I am unsure if you are looking for the actual hug pat pat or just some form of physical contact. If more the physical contact, get a massage (legit massage, not the other kind, although that is fine too if you need it). Human touch is important and can be healing.

DaoLearner · 2020-05-26T23:51:24+00:00

You speak the Truth! I went and stayed with a buddy and his wife for a couple days. Until they hugged me I had no idea what that would mean. It was the first physical contact I have had in a long time. They were supportive and kind. I've only told a couple what's going on but they have all been very supportive.

Title	I need a hug
Author	sadThrowaway2677
Upvotes	10
Comments	13
Date	January 30, 2020 4:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ew7wmq/i_need_a_hug/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-need-a-hug.818690 https://theredarchive.com/post/818690

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