After 19 years of marriage I am officially divorced. It was a very nasty 16 month marathon but I could not be happier. I have a new holiday(Divorce Day) to celebrate every year.

Here are some observations and lessons learned.

  1. Get a lawyer that specializes in family law.
  2. If you want 50% of you child's time ask for it and get it decided as early in the process as possible. Some courts are starting to recognize 50-50 is best for the children.
  3. Temporary decisions often become permanent and are hard to overturn so fight for everything early and often.
  4. Exercise often
  5. Have one or more outlets to vent. Therapist, family etc.
  6. Kids adapt quickly to the new normal.
  7. The courts look at you like an ATM machine. You will probably pay but don't pay more than you have to. Get your spouse imputed to a yearly income.
  8. It's absolutely fucking worth it and I have zero regrets.

Divorce Stats 2 mediation sessions 1 Judicial Conference 1 deposition session 1 vocational assessment 3 trips to court

I wish all of you that are still going through it the best of luck. It's rough but it is so very worth it.