We have been married for 9 years, together 13, and have two kids (7,5). I've always felt that my wife was straightforward and earnest with her feelings and opinions with me, that there was mutual love, and that we could build something together. Every step of the way, I made sure to discuss things and ensure we understood each other.

However, in recent years she had pulled back considerably and put up walls. I'd recently gotten out of her that she never wanted kids, the house, and hated that I went back to school (after 1st was born, but ensured she felt okay first and took over care whenever I wasn't working or studying). She also claims she absolutely cannot see me in a romantic way anymore, will not try to rekindle things, and that I had been the "safe" option. Despite this she wants to remain married I've just wanted to build a life together with someone I could trust and build a deeper connection with. I've gotten amazing kids from this, but it hurts knowing how much was invested into false intensions and feelings. I won't set a loveless marriage as an example for my kids, but I know ending it will hurt them.

Just feels awful getting here, but I know I have to end it. This is going to take awhile to recover from, and I'm just not sure that deep romantic connection will ever be in the cards for me. I guess I will just keep working on me for myself and the kids and hope, but at the moment my self worth is almost nothing.

Thanks all for reading and letting me rant a bit.