Lost the spark

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-11-06T06:10:09+00:00

I am sorry you are going through this. It's ok to feel lost for a while and there is unfortunately no time line for these things.
Letting go is really an art. If you think you have depression, what have you done to deal with it? Therapy?
Having a scarcity mindset thinking you will never have a family is not going to help you.
If you can focus on yourself and find happiness from within, with time you might come to understand that you can't rely on someone or something outside of you to make you happy. Only you can.
Through trying different things, new things, old things you liked to do before you got married, don't stop until you find something. Anything. Its not easy, life is not easy but you can do it.
Wish you all the best with finding your purpose.

Bagman220 · 2025-11-05T18:20:02+00:00

I’m a month out and struggling to find my own purpose. I know I’m a dad and I know I have full custody, I know I need to be here for my kids everyday. But I am more than just a dad, it sucks that this is what my life has become confined to.

I want to go out, I want to do projects around the house, I want to do a lot, but I lack the money and the time to get it done.

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2025-11-05T15:47:20+00:00

I’m 3 years out, and still dealing with things, but I have to appeal my divorce judgement (I will ultimately prevail). This has been almost a constant pain in my side as my ex is totally broke, and AP is 12 years younger than me, who is 44. For my age, I’m prob in the top 1% financially (self made) and this guy makes $3-4K/month. So they’re broke, and have been counting on me to pay all the bills w maintenance, and they were expecting a massive judgement. But other than that, since the appeal, things have calmed down, and I just got back into work.

I own a business. I’ve also been doing hobbies like local LLMs, technology, etc. I understand what you mean about the spark, but I don’t know if I even want to date again. Women scare me after what I’ve just been through. I haven’t dated anyone and I too always pictured myself with a family. It’s really shitty I’ll never have kids, but I decided to just enjoy life. All that stuff about “growing up” doesn’t really apply to me, as I don’t need to be a role model for anyone. It’s shitty and awesome at the same time. I try to focus on how much worse things would be if her and I shared a child.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-11-05T14:56:01+00:00

Don't let one bad apple ruin the bunch. There are plenty of good women out there and now you know exactly what to look when you start dating again and how to maintain a relationship.

If you play not to lose the rest of your life you will never win at anything.

Tasty_Dinner6530 · 2025-11-05T14:32:34+00:00

Same here and been in the midst of separation for the last year which held me back from from moving on, but in reality I am in my own way. I spent days inside the house and didn’t go out and not having done anything made me more sad.

I used to run 5k and enjoy life but alls that had gotten into the back seat.

What worked for me: 1. I got a cheapest Fitbit and promised myself yo walk 3k steps to recover from my kneee injury. 3k turned into 7k steps and then 10K, then I started to walk inclined for a few km. Then I downloaded an app “couch to 10” and start using that. Day by day you will make progress. From not being able to walk because of knee pain, In 3-4 mths I ran 5k and then I ran 7k.

I also started to take myself out on Saturday to cafe and reading a book. Well I mostly spent time on phone even at the cafe but I got out of the house. The point is - just get out walk or spend time and you will feel better day by day.
Slump isn’t , for the past month as the weather has changed i feel into bad habits of eating and other stuff and after a month of slump I am starting to get back up!

Make smaller goals that you can accomplish. Take one day at a time!

Title	Lost the spark
Author	Character-Change-507
Upvotes	14
Comments	11
Date	November 5, 2025 2:13 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1op3y5k/lost_the_spark/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/lost-the-spark.1565623 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565623

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