I 37M am getting divorced with 2 kids under 3yo.

After an instance of being attacked by 3 of my own family members, “for trying to take my daughter,” there are now felony charges for child endangerment battery against them. My wife has upheld her friendships with those people in MY family are more important than keeping my children away from them. I’ve been told by both my mom and her that it was all a mistake and I’m just trying to ruin peoples lives by seeking justice.

The cops were called to our home again by my wife because she said I blocked her from leaving the house. What did happen is I asked her to not take my children to my mother’s because she was part of the previous incident mentioned, and she refused not to. My mother has blocked all communication with me because I’m holding her accountable for not following MY boundaries. I was putting my youngest down for a nap when the cops showed up.

My wife’s mother has been cursing at me in my own home, she has argued with me both in person and over texts, and has purposefully done things like let my older child scream at the bottom of the stairs while I was sleeping in the morning after being up all night struggling through sleeping issues. She claims when children want me she cannot control them.

My wife and I were sharing most day to day expenses on a credit card and would each pay half of the bill, I was paying for more things like our one car payment, and was paying the mortgage before we paid off our home. She kept charging things but stopped paying me, claiming I was “eating out too much,” and she owes me over 6,000$ now for just the shared expenses we put onto the joint card - yes I turned off her access and that was a giant problem too. She has her own job makes just under what I make and has her own individual credit card.

My wife paraded into court and said she was scared, that I’m causing all the problems, that I’m addicted to marijuana, and that I’m the sole reason our home environment is “toxic.”

My lawyer didn’t tell my side of the story, he’s spent more time talking to my wife’s lawyer than he has to me.

Now I have 50/50 custody but am restricted to every other weekend for a 24 hour overnight with only my older child and 2.5 hours of visitation daily because my wife cannot bring herself to leave me alone while we’re sleeping in separate bedrooms.

I understand this as almost contradictory and even though my lawyer didn’t do the job I wanted, both he and the judge were confused with her not wanting to be around me and blaming me but then opening giving me time everyday to be at the house.

Now she keeps saying my actions are terrible, horrible and not of someone who wants to reconcile. She says she doesn’t want divorce, or to ruin or children’s lives but says she can’t reconcile with me. It was common for her to tell me to leave and never come back, she’s taken the children for weeks at a time away from me for arguments that are her being physical and then lying about it later.

We not only have cameras around the house recording but told me it’s abuse for me to record her in our own home, her lawyer insinuated it’s harassment now that I’m using the front facing camera to record me so that there is no availability for misinterpretation later.

Now I have to be out in 2 weeks, and my wife is saying things like well you shouldn’t be getting a year lease because what if we reconcile in 6 months, but then backtracks when I ask her to drop her case and go to therapy and says she never said those things.

I’m crying constantly and just sad I’m loosing access to my children so abruptly and my wife was basically controlling the whole thing because of how she lied on court. I’m already changing lawyers, because there are some disagreements on asset ownership and I don’t trust with his previous showing and lack of preparation, and now I have to move into a shit hole house from our million dollar home again because of my wife’s inability to even try. My entire family and extended family have basically abandoned me except for my dad, and it’s hard to be around my wife for this now last week and a half of unlimited time with my kids because she’s just a miserable narcissist who can’t take any accountability for her actions. I can’t remember the last time she even tried to apologize.

I feel alone, sad, and can hardly keep it together with work, and being around my kids. I’m depressed and don’t want to do much of anything which again my wife uses against me, and cant understand why maybe all of this is affecting me.

I was a product of divorce around 7th grade and I know the studies people try to quote and the things people say about resilient children, I can’t believe it because I know how much I struggled to even understand it when I was much older than my kids. I still think about how terrible life was sometimes back then.

I just need support and don’t know where to find it. I feel for everyone who has the same or similar experiences, I also feel like the court and my lawyer had a predetermined path for this and he purposefully just didn’t care about what I actually had to say and what I wanted. I know this is preliminary but I also think it’s hard to change stays quo once things start down one path. Maybe I’m looking to be picked up, but I’m on my hands and knees crawling right now and feel like I’m going to fall flat on my face soon.

Thanks in advance for whatever advice you have. There’s so much more but this is already long enough.