Moving out Questions

Vokenhagen21 · 2026-03-12T12:46:28+00:00

Do not move out unless you have a custody agreement that you want. Youre ex may not be participating in the process, but if she has the kids all the time judges love nothing more than the status quo if its working for the kids. If all your ex is doing is not participating in the process, there is no reason for you to move until the divorce is over. If there is a custody agreement (this doesn't have to come from the court), then do what you want. I was removed from the home twice when the ex filed TRO's (she was sahm too), so you need to protect yourself in every way possible. You may want the kids to have a stable home on the ex's side, but you need to realize that is not in your control, and you need to make sure you are stable first.

I went and got an apartment after the second TRO, but my lawyer said keep paying all the bills for the home. Thats where you could get screwed financially. And considering it's california, be prepared to get screwed anyway with lifetime alimony. Hell, i'm under temporary orders and barely making it. Again, if the ex is simply not participating (this is almost the best possible situation but can change in an instant), think long and hard about what will work best for you, then you and the kids. My ex keeps filing motion after motion, with no hearing in sight, and its expensive as all hell (mind you i'm only filing responses but it all costs money). Take care of yourself first and foremost, you can't be there for your kids if you are a disaster.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-03-12T11:15:53+00:00

The quickest way to resolve a divorce is trial. And that's your only option if she's not participating or dragging her feet. It's unlikely that your divorce will actually go to trial, but the fear, uncertainty and doubt of a stranger in robes making life altering decisions on her behalf is often enough motivation to get her to mediate.

Moving out before the divorce is final is one of the worst mistakes you can make, especially in your situation. Here's why: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1c1u1g6/fundamentals_do_not_move_out/

Title	Moving out Questions
Author	midlife-madness
Upvotes	3
Comments	3
Date	March 12, 2026 10:18 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rrmwcj/moving_out_questions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/moving-out-questions.1575304 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575304

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