Honestly this is the last thing I want to be writing. I’ve been married for 19 years and I just can’t do it anymore. My wife has battled severe depression since she was in her early teens. I fell in love with her and I thought I could help her. I later found out that mental illness runs in her family also. The first couple years were great then it all set in again after our youngest child was born. We had a db to put it mildly. I literally had to beg for sex and even when she gave in it was horrible because she literally wouldn’t participate and just lay there. It was never like that before. I begged and begged for her to see a dr and get help but she never would until about 3 years ago but by that time it was too late. I had pretty much checked out several years ago.

I tried to give it a chance since she finally sought help but it didn’t help. She’s still the same miserable person with the exception that she has always been a good mother but that was part of the problem she always put our kids before us. I decided many years ago I wouldn’t leave til my kids were grown because I didn’t want them to grow up without me being there for them and I knew if I left her she would would move away because she had no family here and she told me she would.

So all my kids are grown except one in high school and I just can’t do it anymore. I lost myself a long time ago through all this and became very unhealthy and overweight. I decided earlier this year that I was gonna focus on me again. I’ve lost 50lbs and I am going to the gym several times a week.

I’ve devoted my whole life to providing for her and my kids while she would never work more than a part time job that paid practically nothing so I’m broke. I have nothing to even start over with but I’ll figure it out I always do.

How did you do it? How did you tell her you want a divorce? I’m really struggling to just come out and tell her until I can figure out how to save some money to start over with. I have no friends, I gave those all up raising my kids and supporting her so I have no where to go but at this point I feel like living in my truck would be better than staying any longer. Thanks for listening to ( reading ) A distraught dad.