I’m about three weeks into a divorce that I didn’t want.

Before filing, she strongly preferred that we use one attorney and keep things “simple” and “civil.” I decided to get my own attorney instead.

Now, very early in the process, her attorney is pushing for mediation and seems eager to resolve things quickly.

I understand mediation can be helpful, and I’m open to it in the right context. But the pace feels fast—especially considering we have kids and shared finances.

Part of my hesitation is that over the last few weeks, I’ve started noticing patterns that don’t fully add up. Specifically, I’ve reviewed phone records that show an extremely high volume of calls and texts—hundreds and hundreds of pages—between her and a single number. This communication dates back to when she started a part-time job last summer, which is when she met this person AND right around the same time I noticed something was off in our marriage.

This is something I was completely unaware of during the marriage, and the volume and consistency of the communication raise serious questions for me.

Because of that, I feel like there may be more to understand—both financially and personally—before rushing into mediation or any kind of agreement.

I haven’t had time to go through full discovery yet, and I don’t want to make decisions without having a clear picture.

For those who’ve been through this:

• Is it common for one side to push for mediation this early?

• Is it reasonable to slow things down until you feel you have full transparency?

• Has anyone regretted moving too quickly early in the process?

I’m not trying to create conflict—I just don’t want to get blindsided later.