Recently separated - need advice on solo parenting.

StandardButPoor500 · 2025-10-02T13:21:59+00:00

As someone who's done 50% parenting both in marriage and now outside of it (my son is 5), I recommend not being too frightened.

It's not a rocket science. There is nothing too complex, not at the age of 3.

Children have the same basic needs (food, shelter, etc) as the rest of us. Figure out how to feed them, make sure you have a place they can sleep safely. Make sure you know how to take them to a doctor. That's pretty much it, in terms of immediate necessities.

You don't want him to watch TV? Do something else with him. At 3yo, their capacity for automony is quite limited, you will have to invent what they can do. Tell them a story, go to a playground, cook real or pretend food, play with toys, play roleplaying games like you are both zebras or giraffs, go to the zoo, have a picnic. Throw stuff, break stuff, jump, run, kids love all of those.

Also, don't try to be the best dad from day one. Before becoming the best, we have to become good, and before that we have to be just good enough. Set realistic expectation. If you have little experience, the best you can do is try, make mistakes and get better as you go. On a plus side, I can guarantee you will get better if you keep practicing.

Kingcyprus1 · 2025-09-30T02:47:01+00:00

They love going to parks thats one idea.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2025-09-29T23:36:26+00:00

At that age its really easy, parks, zoos get into a weekend activity like gymnastics or something even for boys at 3 it's super fun, my weekdays are mostly park or play outside dinner and bath and bed, during the weekend stay up a little later Friday do the park maybe go shopping for treats or snacks Saturday morning breakfast play outside then gymnastics class then lunch at the park then nap dinner bed, Sunday wake up play then go to the zoo maybe get a treat for lunch nap dinner bed. I rarely have time to create a TV or tablet kid were too busy running around

TheZaddyFiles · 2025-09-29T00:52:28+00:00

Yeah man it isn't that hard and you get used to it. Today, I cleaned my bathroom while my 1 year old daughter played with an interactive electronic book alongside me.

probebeta · 2025-09-29T00:12:08+00:00

It's terrifying at first but honestly it's not complicated. Doing laundry, preparing food, it feels like a difficult task but you'll learn things pretty quickly... For me it's been a lot of parks, get a ball, throw some rocks on the water, maybe even get some snacks and a speaker and play some good tunes at a park. It doesn't have to be special, just spend time together doing stuff you both enjoy. You'll be busy, but as the kid grows up things will get much easier

divorcery · 2025-09-29T00:01:41+00:00

There are many books on parenting. You could try "Touchpoints" by Brazelton and "Cribsheet" by Oster.

Possibly the most important and best thing you can do for your son is to read to him every night at bedtime.

Possibly the second most important thing you can do for your son is to keep him up-to-date on all vaccinations recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Possibly the third most important thing you can do for your son is ensure that his teeth are brushed twice per day and flossed nightly.

For food, you might look into the many available meal-delivery options for children (with names like nurture life, little spoon, etc). The minimum order size is typically three meals/week. All of these services use plastic packaging, so you might want to take some extra precautions to reduce plastic consumption (e.g, discard the original packaging before heating).

Your son needs his own room asap. Not having his own room might become an issue against you in court. He is old enough for a bed (not crib), a small desk and chair, and his own bookshelf and books. At this age, you might want to ensure that he has play-doh and arts and crafts supplies.

If your son isn't in preschool already, you should consider enrolling him if at all possible, so he'll have the educational head start.

Probably the foremost metric in gauging how well you care for your son is the amount of time you spend with him.

1millionBURNINGsuns · 2025-09-28T23:55:26+00:00

Talk to him a lot, read a lot of books. Be ridiculous. Try not to overthink it.

Lots of parks. Learn all the parks. Let him go and learn to be brave. Let him climb and hurt himself. This is your job. Women in his life ain’t gonna do it. It will make all the difference in the world: Confidence and class and the ability to make friends.

You’ll learn all the popular parks with lots of other kids real quick. Go get dirty and injured. Have a blast. Yes - when he’s 3 or 4 or 5+. Start tomorrow.

TalkToMeGooseCooked · 2025-09-28T22:18:40+00:00

My advice, which I had to tell my anxious self all the time, is try to forget all that stuff you want to do that keeps you anxious about spending time with the kiddo. Tv. Football. Making nice meals. Time with others. The bros. Once you let all that stuff go and you start to learn who the kid is, your other shit either becomes less important, orrrrrr the kids starts to merge into your interests as you bring him around with you. The best.

Also time management is a myth. Just try to do one or two activities a day as you build skills. Or one on a week day. Unplanned fun is fantastic. Structure some random activities.

Get a balloon and try to tap it up and keep it off the floor. You can do this shit for 15 mins and both be exhausted. It’s great.

And advice from my own family I wish I could have controlled sooner. Keep the fucking tv and tablet off. Just throw them all out unless it’s 30 min planned session with cutoff.

I would do anything to get a 3yo again. Enjoy it. Live it. You’re fucking awesome.

AssGasketz · 2025-09-28T21:20:48+00:00

🤣🤣🤣

Serious_Post_4103 · 2025-09-28T20:24:16+00:00

Make sure you are kind to him, his belly is full, he has clothes, and is safe. That’s all he needs right now.

Funny_Object_5538 · 2025-09-28T20:12:05+00:00

Man your kid is 3 and loves you unconditionally. Just give him your attention and love. Make him feel safe. Take him to parks, on walks, to kids play places. He will remember the time and your attention more than a toy or electronic will

Title	Recently separated - need advice on solo parenting.
Author	Endlessfriendship
Upvotes	2
Comments	12
Date	September 28, 2025 8:06 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1nsy7ju/recently_separated_need_advice_on_solo_parenting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/recently-separated-need-advice-on-solo-parenting.1563030 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563030

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