My ex and I split up 8 years ago. I caught her having an affair and found out she’d been cheating on me for about 18 months with different guys. My oldest had already moved out. My second daughter found about it through her own detective work and when I had a bigger place chose to move in with me. A few years later child #3 asked to move in with me. She still has our other 2 kids. Last night our oldest who has a newborn told her she was coming to my house for Thanksgiving and wouldn’t step foot in her house because it was disgusting (She’s right. It is horrific. One of her ex boyfriend’s daughter called CPS on her for it and I’ve threatened to). Right after that child #3 showed up and told her basically the same thing. That along with her being a horrible mom and told her the reason her and her big sister moved out was because they were tired of doing her job as mom. They got into it and she blamed her mom for breaking up the family with her affairs. My youngest didn’t know the reason until that moment because I’ve never said anything to him about it. (Partly because of being ashamed that maybe I wasn’t a good enough husband and partly because I didn’t want the kids to see their mom the way I see her.) Well now they know and they came and spent the night with me. It’s the next day. My son just found out the worst thing about his mom and wants to know all the details. Who was he? Why did she do it? How did it happen? The questions I wanted to know. What do I tell him? The kids are old enough to choose who they want to live with now. I want to be that choice. I’ve always wanted to be that choice. Not being able to tuck my kids into bed at night and be there to wake them up in the morning has been a hell I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Now I feel like I may have that chance and I don’t want to screw it up. What do I do?