Separated > reconnected > separated

euphramjsimpson · 2025-07-30T04:38:29+00:00

I don’t know if that would have happened with my ex. I do know that it would be a lot easier to cope with had we ever, for one second, both known that our marriage was in trouble before she was totally checked out.

krazykanuck · 2025-07-29T21:22:31+00:00

Look at it this way; now you know. You had doubts the first time and needed to know if you could make it work. It didn’t. If you hadn’t given it a second try, maybe you would have always wondered.

Brilliant_Ad5830 · 2025-07-29T17:15:28+00:00

I hate to second guess your therapist, but getting through each day for me was more critical than mapping out my future. I wouldn't emphasize the big picture. It'll probably take a couple of years to really figure it out and find the new normal.

Day to day, mindfulness did the trick for me. Distilled: Feel the feelings. But don't act on them.

I did meet up with my ex a handful of times. She drunk dialed a few times beyond that. But divorce was like a sheer cliff wall for me. One way trip. Inertia built fast.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-07-29T02:20:02+00:00

Can’t blame anyone for giving it another try, you did. Now you’re squarely in “fool me twice, shame on me” territory. Do the necessary.

Edit: not sure it extended the grieving process, I mean for me at least the “what ifs” were a huge problem and if some of your “what ifs” have been resolved, it may shorten the overall process.

Business_Guava3329 · 2025-07-29T01:22:44+00:00

Yup, just adds to the overall trauma.

I only went back several times because it meant more time with our kid. That, and to collaborate on moving out from under her mom's thumb (and her neighborhood Boomer spy network) to somewhere 3 hours away.

I don't regret doing it for more time with my kid and escaping her family, but it took its toll.

When she "ended things again" for the umpteenth time 2 months ago, I took it as a blessing. However, I really hate that empty feeling. That feeling programmed by society that tricks men into thinking they need a partner to have worth.

This time, I'm standing my ground, getting into shape, working on my hobbies, and building my worth as a father who has his shit together. That any woman who doesn't see my value just isn't worth it. Don't EVER chase again. Know your worth. Always be the flame, NOT the moth.

As for therapy - GOOD on you! Highly recommend EMDR if available for trauma relief.

Title	Separated > reconnected > separated
Author	VeteranEntrepreneurs
Upvotes	9
Comments	9
Date	July 29, 2025 12:41 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1mbxhe0/separated_reconnected_separated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/separated-reconnected-separated.1558381 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558381

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