Settlement Conference

FUMoney · 2023-03-05T16:22:13+00:00

Here is what you do. Nail down your side. All the details. Put it in a confidential writing, or a spreadsheet, for your side only. Know what you can give on, and what your bottom lines are.

Then, go to the mediation. Tell the mediator, we have no idea what the other side wants, they have never told us. Make the mediator do some work to get the other side’s demand. If the demand is outrageous, well, you’ll have your answer: off to trial you go. If the demand is reasonable, then you’ll have reason to mediate, because a deal is possible.

FeedAlone · 2023-03-05T14:50:23+00:00

You need to create a table with high, medium, & low valued items for you and an additional table for what she values. Then try to trade off low-valued items for high-valued items.

gnackered · 2023-03-05T16:19:55+00:00

Do you know the value of her stuff? You got that through discovery? Right? Are there material personal assets? I think you can get 90% there building up the financial assets - houses, cars, retirement accounts, cash, mortgages, car loans, credit cards. If there are pensions and personal assets that gets a little bit trickier. There can be some dickering about the house value. The cleanest answer is to sell it and split it.

Kids? Income disparity leading to alimony, duration of alimony - these are the heavier lifts.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-03-05T22:41:07+00:00

With trial six weeks from now, her imagination is your best ally. She knows if she doesn't make a deal with you now, there's a stranger in robes who will be making life altering decisions on her behalf. And she has no influence over the judge. Deadlines make deals. If you don't like her offer, then retort with "let's see what a judge thinks" and walk out.

Even if she doesn't make a deal tomorrow, you can expect her to make a deal on the courthouse steps at the 11th hour. It happens more often than you think.

When you go into your conference, be prepared. Read this: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=46407

Good luck.

Title	Settlement Conference
Author	LongWalksAtSunrise
Upvotes	6
Comments	12
Date	March 5, 2023 2:34 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/11iyk7a/settlement_conference/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/settlement-conference.1154392 https://theredarchive.com/post/1154392

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