I am considering filing for divorce after 5 years of marriage. It’s been rocky for many sustained periods, and while there are no “smoking gun” type issues such as infidelity, substance abuse, etc., I just do not see us recovering to where we spend the rest of our lives happily together.

There are many recurring issues. We have one 3 year old son, and she complains that she’s the default parent all the time and she claims to do way more household management than I do. I disagree because I cook more than her, go to the grocery store more, do more dishes, do all of the trash, etc. I spend almost an equal amount of time solo parenting while she’s out running errands or with friends or away. I do my fair share of drop offs, pick ups to school, meals, cleaning up, morning routine, bath time, etc. About the only thing she does exclusively for him is laundry - but it’s never really done - just in a perpetually unfinished task. She never cooks anything besides pasta, and she easily defaults to meal delivery (door dash). On the few times she handles groceries, she orders them for delivery and asks me to put them away whereas I always go to the store and just put them away myself. Overall I think the split of household/childcare is maybe 55/45 or at worst 60/40 in her favor.

As far as being a provider, I make 90% of the income (providing all health insurance benefits for whole family also) working full-time (4 days per week in office) at a demanding job. She works from home with her own bookkeeping business that she claims is full-time, but she really works maybe 15-20 hours per week while our son is at daycare.

She constantly complains about me, sends me social media clips/reels showing “advice” that I need to heed to “improve” (essentially placing her unhappiness and marriage problems entirely on me), and is just always negative. She harbors deep resentment towards me that she cannot hide, and it makes me feel like we should just part ways. I don’t feel as if I deserve the resentment I receive when I’ve been a great provider, solid household contributor, excellent father, and stable foundation for our family. Her family lives about an hour away, and I always make the effort to spend time with them too as I know it’s important to my wife.

Meanwhile, she’s disorganized and cannot keep up with her own stuff. She’s always behind in her own tasks, her own laundry/errands, and she makes no effort to form better habits to fix the situation. Our house is frequently a mess because the amount of unnecessary items and junk we have is clogging up storage space. Literally 80% of it could be thrown out.

So, anyone else been in a similar circumstance? Should I file and move on? That’s the way I’m leaning…