I've posted before but decided to delete it. Married over 25 years. I cheated in the first year. No excuses I own it. 25 years later she has told me she is not in love me and hasn't been for a while. When I try to talk to her she spews crazy hatred about things from a decade or more back. I began to feel like she was cheating. She was checking all the boxes. I have killed myself for the past year and it's like the more I try the more she hates me. She lied about a dude texting at 10 minutes after midnight. She said it was " early in the morning". I let it go for a few days hoping she would tell me the truth on her own. No such luck. I calmly bring it up and she goes to spewing the craziest hatred yet. Um so if I point out the lie I'm a bad guy?She maybe doesn't have the ability to admit or consider a flaw could be on her end. I still love and want to be with her but I can't live like this much longer. It has destroyed my self worth. However she doesn't want to leave. I'm supposed to shut up and pay for everything and be supportive and out of the way. I believe she couldn't talk crazy hateful shit too me if she had any respect for me could she? If there is no respect it's done eh? 25 years of acting right changed nothing. Is it time to leave? Thanks in advance for comments and advice.