Stuck and no idea what to do.

Accomplished_Lab3294 · 2025-04-08T16:34:30+00:00

Don't live in a at fault state, live in Canada where the only grounds for a "instant" grounds for immediate divorce is by full proof of adultery has occurred. Unfortunately I don't know anyone that uses or is on tinder/bumble or any kind of dating apps. I won't be bringing it up it's not worth it and it doesn't matter anymore.

Everyone is right and it is time to just grieve and move on it is painful but the best thing for myself to grow and become better for my own sake and my kids. It's better to utilize this time I currently have with the kids on this family trip to do the things I never got to do as a child with my family

CaptJaxParo · 2025-04-07T01:01:40+00:00

I would screenshot it. My ex told the court that I set up her Tinder account. Totally impossible since you need your own phone to do it and her phone was always face locked. But my friend found her Tinder profile and other online dating profiles and screenshotted all of them. This is valuable to show that she was just making lies and drama. It can shut them down pretty quickly. Even if it's an at fault state I would document everything I find just in case down the road she starts making up allegations against you like- mine

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-04-07T00:34:09+00:00

Unless you live in at at fault state no reason to ever bring it up.

What she does in her private life is no longer any business of yours, and vice versa.

Bringing it up will only nuke your co-parenting relationship from the start. You want amicable and flexible, and a DIY divorce if she is onboard with that.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2025-04-06T19:47:14+00:00

If you know that you’re going to divorce, why bring it up at all? It’s hard, but your marriage is over and it’s time for you to grieve what you thought you had and start to move on. From now on, it’s only about you and your kids.

If there’s a chance of infidelity helping you in the divorce process, collect any evidence.

Fit_Size6756 · 2025-04-06T18:48:27+00:00

Snap a pic ... good evidence for the courts

Grafixx5 · 2025-04-06T17:53:37+00:00

I wouldn’t bother bringing it up just take a picture like the other one said and leave it at that might be able to use it as far as in court custody why saying how she’s having an affair that’s about it. My soon-to-be ex is already doing that as well she’s been having an affair with some guy for a few months and already has moved on Even before filing which I think is kind of messed up, but she claims and swears that she’s not so I always say look to the one who doesn’t move on straight into another relationship after separating from a break up or a divorce because that’s the one who is truly invested versus the one who does get directly into a relationship because that was the one who was never messed

TheSoftSource · 2025-04-06T17:18:28+00:00

As hard and painful as it sounds, snap a pic of the apps with your phone to keep if there comes a time you may need ammunition. Hopefully not. Stay silent about it, though. She very obviously doesn’t care that you know she has the accounts or wants to make you jealous. Stay the course and get through it. There’s a finish line and the goal is to cross it with as little damage done to your kiddos as possible.

Negative-Effective11 · 2025-04-06T16:38:47+00:00

No reason to bring it up. Confirmation she is moving on and so should you. Focus should be being the best Father you can possibly be. Your kids love you and that's all that matters at the end of the day.

Title	Stuck and no idea what to do.
Author	Accomplished_Lab3294
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	April 6, 2025 4:26 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1jsy0te/stuck_and_no_idea_what_to_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/stuck-and-no-idea-what-to-do.1548774 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548774

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