Triggers

Exact_Public_2958 · 2025-03-05T01:30:48+00:00

No words of advice other than keep contact to a minimum and gray rock as much as possible. I feel the same any contact gets me down because I fall into the I can't believe she did it wasn't she my best friend trap. Fuck cheaters.

ImportantRecipe3087 · 2025-02-27T15:52:30+00:00

I have no communications with my ex. That’s how I deal with it. I drive to her house, kids get in my car and we leave. I bring them back and they get out. I do a bank transfer for the child support each month. So no need to have any conversations which is perfect for me.

First-Sail8421 · 2025-02-27T03:17:54+00:00

Don't contact. Don't speak. Short, terse emails as needed.

funnyman6979 · 2025-02-27T03:05:01+00:00

It’s not easy, but create the mindset it is all about your child and lock this in as hard as you can. Also a lessoned learned years later, work on the triggers it’s tough but you’re going to carry this into the next relationships. I’d like to report this gets easier when the kids are grown adults but today was one of those days even myself I questioned what was the point. I have two kids in their 30’s. First wife cheated twice and the third child wasn’t mine. Second marriage been together 20 years and it’s been a struggle we have one child together. I thought I had this all figured out, nope. Bottom line, it takes time, you’ve been hurt put the child first and lower the expectation because if she cared she wouldn’t have cheated.

Zealousideal_Try_864 · 2025-02-27T02:45:14+00:00

You need to keep emotions out of it and forget about her cheating. Who gives a shit at this point?

One thing in the way of your happiness is worrying about some woman who clearly doesn’t give a shit about you.

Communicate only about your boy and nothing else and only when you need to. It sounds like talking on the phone might also be triggering. If that’s the case, then keep it to electronic communication.

I would just buy a separate games console and keep it at my house just so I didn’t have to deal with the conflict. Sometimes emotional health can be paid for in more ways than a copay.

The idea behind divorce is that you couldn’t agree on stuff for years, so it probably ain’t gonna get any better now, right?

Don’t be the victim. Be the thriver.

kcinkcinlim · 2025-02-27T01:19:17+00:00

It's work. You know how you have to deal with a co-worker you don't like, but still need to get the work done? You do so through clear, professional communication, keeping the messaging concise and result oriented. Yours is now a business relationship, the business being your shared child. Sometimes, this co-worker may regress back to the old dynamic, and that's where you maintain the boundary, keep it professional, and respond based on the optimal result you want to achieve. Everything else is just noise.

LearnGrowExist · 2025-02-27T01:01:35+00:00

I’m here for this conversation.

Title	Triggers
Author	Severe_State8300
Upvotes	13
Comments	8
Date	February 27, 2025 12:41 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1iz34y9/triggers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/triggers.1545072 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545072

Comments