“Visiting” and “Co-Parenting”

25_years · 2021-09-16T13:54:12+00:00

This is all too familiar. I sympathize as I'm sure others will too. I completely agree: Even the term "Visitation" is an insult. Prisoners get visitors.

It appears that I independently re-discovered a well-known phenomenon. Of course, I want to enforce rules and routines, help them with their homework, make them eat their veggies, and all that. But soon, when I was enjoying my court-ordered four allotted days a month with my kids, the focus became to make the time fun for them. It was all too easy to let their mom deal with bedtimes and chores and discipline; the kids had movies and pizza and fun with me. It's all I had. It was ALL I had. My ex-wife blocked me out of the rest of their lives.

Naturally, she began to accuse me of trying to be the "fun" parent while she does the hard work of child-rearing.

Later, I learned the term "Disney Dad". It's exactly that: A dad who only has time to take the kids to some fun activity once or twice a month. I was far from being alone in this category.

Many men in this category, like me, eventually drift away from their kids completely. Or, I should say, they drifted from me. Dads who are MORE involved with their kids pay child support more regularly. And, of course, kids do better in every aspect when both parents are involved.

When I hear that fucking retarded doctrine, "The Best Interests of the Children", I want to punch someone in the throat. Fighting the courts takes time and money. But it also sucks-up your energy. "You should do EVERYTHING for your kids, keep fighting", some people will say. That's noble, I guess. But the fight wore me down. The courts don't care. At some point, you have to look at your own mental health. At some point, losing your kids is just another part of a failed marriage; a lesson to be learned, and you move on.

I haven't seen my kids in six years. When my oldest turned 18, I thought she would reach out to me without her mother brainwashing her anymore. At least reach out to ask for money (what teenager doesn't need money?). But she hates me.

flapjackdavis · 2021-09-16T00:10:09+00:00

Can you get more time with them?

Imortal351 · 2021-09-16T02:49:44+00:00

I feel you there man. I only get to see my girl for 8 hours a week right now and I have to be with my parents when I'm with her. Working on custody right now got to wait for the Coutts tho

Title	“Visiting” and “Co-Parenting”
Author	Financial_Advisor500
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	September 16, 2021 12:01 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/pp254q/visiting_and_coparenting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/visiting-and-co-parenting.1070204 https://theredarchive.com/post/1070204

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