(Male 30) I vent enough to my friends, family, colleagues and to our marriage Counseler that I setup. My wife and I have the most beautiful 14 month old baby boy. It’s possible my wife has bad post partum depression, but even more likely she hasn’t come to terms with her fucked up past life. Very possible she’ll never be big enough to accept, and face her own internal problems I don’t even know about.

What if: it doesn’t work out. What if after 2 years of counseling she becomes happy, and I’m the saddest man to ever exist? What if me blow torching my balls into a vagina (since cutting them off wasn’t enough) leaves me no choice but to divorce her in hopes to regain my own happiness back? What if…. instead of her leaving her job, I encourage her to keep her full time job. I quit my 6+ figure job, and allow the bank to foreclose our house, and let her learn what a dollars actually worth since I’m a loser at home without a job all the sudden who can’t pay the bills.

What would the divorce court do, if she’s the only one with a full time job? Im stay at home dad, she’s making 50K a year. She’s 600 miles away from any single family member. She’s not allowed to move out of state, let alone 50 miles away from me without my consent…. Would she have to pay ME child support since I’m the jobless one?

I’m surprised I’ve never heard a comedian crack this kind of joke- but is this at all a reality? If I leave her now, she’ll take half my paychecks, be awarded custody of the kid, and get my $500 thousand dollar house I bought for her. What if I threw this reverse uno card in as wild as it sounds?

Any lawyers out there want to role play this with me?