Why are divorce lawyers some of the dumbest God damn human beings I have ever met? I have tutored inner city gradeschool children and I feel like they grasp and retain new concepts with greater ease and reliability. The simple task of adding two numbers together or keeping track of what has been said in previous pretrials is like a Herculean task for these morons. I know, they have other clients, but couldn't they also have like a 3x5 card for information on each case? Because that would be a greater amount than they seem to retain from one week to the next.

Case in point, today's conversation about my investment account. I've provided statements and succinct summaries for everything. Opposing counsel got caught up on the gross trade proceeds number. Since I did some day trading last year, I did a fair number of trades though I didn't make that much in them. To her, this number represents the amount that should be divided. Which is, literally, insane. A second grader can understand the difference between gross and net proceeds. In the documents I provided, "gross proceeds", "cost basis" and "net proceeds" are literally listed on the same line in the summary. Yet this world-class intellectual Lilliputian is making me question whether the insult "couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions written on the heel" had literal origins. This problem has apparently stymied her for months. I am not joking when I say that this and similarly boneheaded issues have been raised over and over and over and over again since filing. Our marriage lasted less than 5 years with no children and no commingled accounts, and we are about to enter our second year of legal bullshit. When one is resolved, the next equally idiotic "problem" arises.

I know my STBX is part of the problem, since she refused to even consider mediation and seems to want to ignore that the divorce is still happening. And she was the one who filed! Honestly, what defense do we have against malicious delays of this nature? I just want to get on with my f****** life. Anything that has actually been decided before the judge (who is the most sane person in this circus thank God) is something I would have agreed to after a day of mediation. But this has taken 2 years of my life to resolve, time I won't ever get back. I don't understand how this could be considered normal to any morally conscious human being. I thought my ex was one of those, but this process has proven me painfully wrong. I'm just tired.