I posted this on a different sub , but I always get great advice from other divorced men. You guys can be brutal and it’s really the best way I see things sometimes. I’m sure theres some dads with some what similar situations.

How the hell do any of you do it. I was/am a stay at home dad. Since my divorce, I’ve accumulated a LOT of debt and I need to get a shovel to deal with it. Right now I am receiving a pension that takes care of all my bills and some. Not enough to pay all this debt. I’ve considered going back to work as it’s been since 2019 that I had my last job. I share 50/50 custody of my kids.

I have to be a bit picky as I have some physical disabilities that make it hard to do physical labor but I’m still willing to suck it up(if I can). Every job I find, that fits me, have some of the worst hours. The best I’ve found is 8 or 9 am until 5-530. With commute, I’d have to factor about 30 minutes prior and after.

My problem is that child care is expensive as fuck. I’ve been quoted 800+ a month for my two kids(it’s low compared to some area but still a crap ton). One of them is in school, the other won’t be until August of next year. My only family left 1000 miles away and now I have no support system. If I go work, I would be able to pick my kids up until around 630 or 7. My youngest will be in daycare for potentially over 10 hours. They’re going to hate being at dads.

A big concern is limiting my career opportunities since I haven’t worked. I’m in school and I’m seriously considering graduate school at the end of the year. I study computer science, so a grad degree won’t really help. This will take me until my youngest goes to grade school. My other biggest concern is my daughters being taken care of by who knows. They’re safety could be in jeopardy and they would grow resentment.

Look, I know this is such a “privileged” problem of mine and it’s okay if I get crapped on for it.

How do you all do it? Especially the ones that have no support system. I’ve considered gig jobs (Uber, door dash) but I only have one car now. Don’t want it to break and then I’ll have nothing. WFM jobs are a thing of the past now , it’s next to impossible for me.

It’s been eating at me. Also mentally, it’s hard being alone at home all day. Working out helps but to an extent. I have plans to start hiking and doing outdoors stuff now that it’s getting warmer here where I’m at. Any and all help/tips would be appreciated.