Does n-count matter?

Luvagoo · 2018-06-26T12:13:40+00:00

If your source is the daily mail then it's as good as debunked. Why on earth would the number matter? Think it through.

I personally cannot think of any reason except for a self fulfilling prophecy where people get insecure about their partner's number and sabotage their own relationship.

kblkbl165 · 2018-06-26T12:25:22+00:00

I mean, just look at the graph and the data. There’s literally no pattern to be found and every interpretation of it would be an absurd extrapolation.

It’s a very basic study and we should really pay attention to the language scientists use, focus on all the coulds, before drawing conclusions. Now onto my opinion: “10+” is a way too small number to even try defining sexual activity without defining some time parameter.

Would you be uncomfortable dating a 30yo woman who had more 10 sexual relationships in her life? That’s a very conservative number, it’s literally 1 partner/year since prime college years. lol

On a general note: Asking how many a woman had before you will never feel good and will never mean much. Casual sex can be an extremely impersonal act and more often than not people develop themselves sexually more when in long term relationships. People are very different in their tastes, someone who fools around a lot comes to learn simply how to proceed in a general way. It’s always funny to hear stories from buddies on how he hooked up with one crazy sex fiend or how other buddy found a girl who only liked anal...what no one tells you is about all the other 90% vanilla dates that end up in a vanilla missionary that was barely worth the night off.

Lilly077 · 2018-06-26T21:55:51+00:00

I think the number doesn't influence the person later on in life, but that people from a more conservative environment are less likely to sleep with many people and less likely to get divorced. Correlation, not causation.

I understand the argument that people who develop a habit to sleep around will just keep on being promiscuous which is incompatible with LTR and marriage, but I think it can be different from one person to another. Some people truly never change, some do. If you are in a relationship with someone, you should be able to tell if there are red flags.

maybeiwillremember01 · 2018-06-27T14:49:55+00:00

You can 'logic' that someone who sleeps around a lot will be more likely to cheat because she is highly sexual and is used to variety.

You can 'logic' that someone who is a virgin until you will eventually get bored and want to experience more because life is short.

Conclusion? Damn. I dunno. Try to choose a good one and think for yourself not what relatively nutty people on a reddit forum tell you.

absolutebeginners · 2018-06-26T18:24:29+00:00

x_Omni · 2018-06-27T21:24:27+00:00

I had one sexual partner before I met my wife. We've now been married for 10 years, and going strong. Anyone that tells you that it matters is full of crap.

Yesm3can · 2018-06-27T13:32:44+00:00

Haiyaaa... first of all, it reminds me to this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eBT6OSr1TI

I think the subject of n-count is the same with subject whether to date someone from a more conservative environment or not. If you are uncomfortable dating someone with high n-count, you don't need to feel guilty about it.

I originated from a more conservative country and there, even people who were married as virgins, some of them cheated and left their partners.

britdd · 2018-06-28T08:24:44+00:00

A Salt Lake City, U of Utah study on marriage. aka, mormon world. Take a wild guess?

itsmichaelauthor · 2018-06-28T18:43:45+00:00

Hey man--just a quick note--if you are trying to determine whether these things matter by consulting statistics and studies you're missing something very important.

Does it matter to YOU? Does it matter to your girl? These are the only questions that really matter, and you should be having this discussion with her.

If it matters, why? Do you feel insecure about being good enough? Does she feel the same? What's behind it all?

Peace to you and here's to you figuring it all out. It has nothing to do with other people and what they think, especially not anonymous redditors!

emailpassword12 · 2018-06-29T01:24:44+00:00

Nope!

A weird sect of my family are in a cult where they all get married at 18 as virgins.... they mostly get divorced after cheating (both sides) and the husband beating. Literally the divorce rate in the cult is like 80%.

As my Papa said, you gotta try before you buy!

bunker_man · 2018-07-07T00:14:18+00:00

Here's a better question. Does it MATTER whether it matters? While there are certainly statistics that imply that it might be tied to a lower chance, anyone whose idea of what they should look at to determine chance of success immediately goes there should just admit they have no clue what they are doing. Even those statistics don't say that its a make or break type thing. Treating someone's past as a "number" is reductive and nonsensical to begin with. What you should be looking at is realistic patterns and evidence. If someone has a high number because there is a serious indication that they sabotage relationships and can't stay stable its a very different situation than someone who does for a reason that doesn't imply an inability to have self control.

Look at it this way. Someone who has an orgy one time, followed by having one long term relationship that was super stable could have a high partner count number. But someone who cheated on someone near instantly, and notably gets bored with, or isn't stable enough to have a real relationship could have a low one. People are composed of thousands of properties each which technically "matter" to all future outcomes. Obsessing about that one only as if it tells you the future is just that: an obsession.

BlueAscetic · 2018-08-22T00:49:35+00:00

First, I'd like to say thank you for looking into things.

Next, I'd like to say this is from Daily Mail and isn't really based on science. It doesn't even have a link to the actual study, just the author's last name and a website on studies, but based on family affairs or something like that. I tried to look up the study on google scholar but it wasn't loading for me. From what I'm seeing, none of his initial (first 10 results on google scholar) specifically study women's sexual partners. Maybe I'll looking in the wrong place. I'm looking at Wolfinger's work on marriage, by the way, which is what this original article you posted, quotes.

Also, the daily mail article mentions the probable cause of virgins-who-marry being least likely to divorce are for religious reasons. Most Christian-based religions I know believe in marriage til the end, and frown upon divorce. I live in Utah, so see this all the time. Even some gay men and lesbian women will be in an unhappy marriage, to keep the church and their social ties happy. Not always, but sometimes. The penalty for going "outside the lines" here in the LDS state is ostracism from friends and family you basically grew up with, so it's not surprising to me to hear 1) virgins divorce less and 2) could be because of religious ideals. Wolfinger's book he put out is based on how religion inevitably helps marriage collapse. Maybe you could join a religion, or find a nice religious girl. Some guys prefer that.

I've slept with a lot of men. Recently I don't want to sleep with any, and prefer monogamy. I've never cheated on a partner, and I've had a couple serious relationships and a couple not-as-serious, but even in the not-as-serious ones I didn't sleep with anyone else. I think I'm probably more open to sex, but crossing that boundary would be a HUGE deal to me. Point is, not every woman will be the same. The Daily Mail article's sole purpose is to stir up things from research that it's not entirely clear on, nor is the research it's basing it's views on. We don't know the "truth" just yet.

Thunderfin · 2018-06-28T06:21:13+00:00

Yep.

Title	Does n-count matter?
Author	nbighouse
Upvotes	2
Comments	17
Date	June 26, 2018 10:16 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/8tyvjl/does_ncount_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/does-n-count-matter.300061 https://theredarchive.com/post/300061

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