So for context, I have a little bit of a superiority-inferiority complex. As in I think I am better than everyone else but none seems to agree. Still, I stand by my opinion and Love myself.

And some time ago, I met a girl who I thought reminded me of someone. I realized that she reminds me of myself. And I am serious, to the smallest details in behavior, she is so much like me I can´t believe it. It´s like looking into mirror. And the first thing I thought was "Everyone should bow down before us" and understandably I had a little bit of a crush on her.

I assumed that since we are so similar, it should be easy to get her to like me. Cause I am basically like her and I like myself and I like her... and since I am like her... and I am assuming she likes herself... she should like me. But... not only does she not like me, it seems like she doesn´t even acknowledge me.

So because I liked her so much I spent a lot of time looking at her. I would often just peek at her, worried that she´d notice that I´m watching her and feeling bad that I´m acting a little bit like a creep.

But I was also wondering if she ever looks at me... so I kept looking at her and after a while I realized... she never looks at me. So that´s fine, y´know. I was still worried about her noticing that I look at her all the time though.

She sits very close to the teachers desk and once I had some business to do with the teacher and I got really nervous about being close to her and I hoped she would not notice that I am acting weird. But as I was standing, very close to her, I peek at her and I notice... she is not acknowledging my presence. So I decided that I am gonna push this s*it to it´s limits and I stand like a meter closer, towering over her while she´s sitting at her desk, starting at her, wondering if she´d notice... that I am directly staring at her... She´s acting like I´m not there... she isn´t even uncomfortable... she doesn´t acknowledge me... So I´m like... "Fine, so I guess I don´t need to worry about acting weird cause she wouldn´t notice me, anyway."

I felt really sad about it... and really confused. Cause it makes no sense. But I wanted to see how far can it get. So I still look at her... Now not even trying to hide it anymore. I stare at her. And the other day she was sitting tilted into my direction... I am in her field of view and I am staring directly at her for the whole hour. She does not notice... she is looking into my direction but can´t notice me staring directly at her... That is some next level bulls*it. Now I see two people walk in front of me. I noticed that the girl is very observant, y´know, like me cause we´re similar, ironically, she looks at everything that isn´t me. And she´s looking at the two people in front of me

One is standing here I am here The other here

1 3 2

And she is switching her sight between the two of them, I am right in the middle staring at her, but she won´t notice. How does she do that.

And it was funny... cause she has a friend group. And the teacher was talking to her friend group about me. And she always observes people and she´s looking at all the parties present in the conversation. So she´s looking at the teacher and then the teacher starts talking about me, y´know, referring to me, and usually she´d turn her attention to the object of the conversation, which is me, and she... I couldn´t believe what am I looking at... she was looking somewhere to my left and slightly above... staring... into nowhere. And I look there and there´s just a plain wall... I have no idea what she was doing, I guess her mind just went into a daydream mode upon hearing my name as a defense mechanism to the Absolute disinterest and boredom and she just started staring at a plain wall. I look there, I have no idea what she was looking at but it was hilarious.

I think that´s what people mean when they say they feel "invisible".

It makes me kinda sad, cause I can clearly see her looking at everyone but me. And it breaks my heart because we are so similar... like I legit tell you it´s like looking into mirror. I have never seen someone resemble me this much. It´s a miracle. I always wanted to meet someone like me. You don´t understand the extent of that similarity. Just to be clear... my parents saw her once... she was sitting in the hallway while parents were invited for a meeting to school and they told me "There was this girl, kinda seems similar to you, isn´t she from your class ?" they mentioned her several times... even though I didn´t say anything about liking anyone. And they saw her once. W-we are f*cking similar, like alarmingly so... and not in appearence... in presentation and behavior. Like you don´t understand how similar... you wouldn´t believe the precision and detail to which we are similar. Like I look at her and my entire life flashes before my eyes because I just remember doing the exact same gestures, phrases... even that tone of voice... that attitude... everything... so resembling of me.

And mind you I talked to her before and the thing is whenever I talk to people I like I tend to embarass myself and I did embarass myself. But I don´t think I deserve to be ignored for it. Besides... she doesn´t even get uncomfortable around me or try to avoid me, she just completely ignores me as if I was air. It´s like it´s almost impossible for her to look at me. Like I would bet money... put me and her in a room with another five people... and I bet like a 100 dollars that she won´t look at me a single time.

Oh and by the way, before you accuse me of making her uncomfortable and that she actually knows I am looking at her just doesn´t say anything. I actually ASKED her weather I make her uncomfortable by my awkwardness during that conversation and she said "I would tell you if that were the case." so I am keeping that in mind. If she knew I am looking at her she would surely ask me what´s up.

What the fck is she looking at all the time. She´s the only person in the class who always raises her head and looks around, SHE DID IT AGAIN WHAT, there´s nothing there. Why does she keep looking there, is she looking out of the window ? I just find it so baffling that someone this observant, can´t notice that I´m staring at her all the time, well to be fair I am not staring at her now cause she´s sitting next to me and I am not yet confident enough in my inferiority to believe that she won´t notice if I stare at her from this distance. I think I´m gonna try it though.

Now, she was handing out papers and she gave me mine and then she gave me another one which belonged to the guy behind me, who is also quiet, same color schame and has similar clothing, does she think we´re one person ? And she gave it to me with such confidence.

Man, I can totally imagine that if I tell her that I like her, next day she will not be sure which one of us was it. Man, I don´t know how to make her view me as a person, like I´m sorry, but I think this is kind of beyond my Power. Like what is going on inside her mind ? "The quiet guy in the right row." but didn´t take in account that there´s two of them.

Imagine the disinterest you have to feel in order to give someone a paper with their name on it, forget that you gave them that paper, forget their name and give them another paper with someone else´s name like 5 seconds afterwards. Just to clerify. We were all supposed to have only ONE paper. And they were signed with OUR names. Okay ? Just so that we are clear on the situation.

I don´t know what to do... I don´t understand this behavior. We are basically dopplegangers. I look at her and the way she acts is identical to me. The attitude, the gestures, the body language, the tone of voice. You can´t make this up. It´s insane. I thought we could bond over our experiences cause... I understand her... I understand the intention behind every movement she makes... I´ve been there. It´s like I´ve known her my entire life. I can´t stress this enough, like whatever you are imagining, you probably aren´t aware just how similar we are. It´s more than just a reflection in the mirror. It´s like a reflection of my entire life. Of all my traits, it´s like watching myself in another person´s body. Everything about her is familiar to me. And yet she fails to see me.

I really want to talk to her but I can clearly see that she´s disinterested. I don´t understand why. I don´t understand this behavior. I want to be friends with her. I want to understand her. I wish I knew what to do. I want her to understand me, I want her to see how similar we are.

This is the only behavior she does that doesn´t make sense to me. She looks like she Loves herself. So why does she not Love me ? We are so similar. Why does she not acknowledge me ? I don´t know what to do, I don´t want to bother her.

She´s just enough as she is. She´s just acting as herself, or... like me. And it´s enough. And I am not even worth a single acknowledgement. I still want to talk to her so much. What is happening in her brain when she´s ignoring me so effortlessly ?

Maybe she knows we´re similar but still thinks I suck.