Help with depressed husband reading RP

glug_glug_glug · 2018-01-15T04:13:40+00:00

Reading some of the links in the sidebar really helped me get over some of my red pill tendencies.

I also personally have been reading "no more Mr. Nice guy" and it has helped me with the resentment I feel towards women by recognising that it's my fault for not setting boundaries and then not communicating my needs. I used to lash out when my partner would "take advantage" of boundaries that I never told her I had.

I don't know if people take issue with that book because it has some light gender stereotyping, but for me the good far outweighs the bad.

deepthinkerT · 2018-01-17T20:44:15+00:00

your husband needs to get off the redpill right now and i want you to show him this message. the red-pill is dangerous because it contains so much pseudoscience specially evolutionary psychology. I have a background in biology( hard sciences) so when i read the things they write i find them hilarious normal evolutionary psychology is regarded as a joke by biologists but the redpill version is even worst. Now moving on to this FALSE LIE of male disposability THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MALE DISPOSABILITY OUR BIOLOGICAL MAKE UP ACTIVELY WORKS AGAINST IT.Ask yourself a question isn't it odd that the world is made up of the same number of men and women in the world and this ratio is maintained constantly? well to answer that question birth rates are rigged they are determined by our biological make up the sex ratio between men and women is 1:1 at birth this is a mechanism controlled by nature this is what biologist call fishers principle a evolutionary stable strategy.For example if women were sent to war( or you can use female infanticide in asian countries) something interesting starts to happen to the birth rate in the general population of the people left behind.because there is now more men then women evolution then starts to suppress the male birth rate, and starts increasing the female birth rate and overproduces female until the ratio between men and women is back to being 1:1 .The reverse is also true with men when there are more women then men in a population evolution suppresses the female birth rate and increases the male birth rate and overproduces men until the ratio is back to 1:1. natural selection actively penalizes and works against any deviation from the 1:1 ratio by overproducing the sex that is lacking because when one sex is more then the other it becomes too risky for the genome which invests in men and women equally.The reproductive value of men and women is not measured in the saying eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap and 10 men can impregnate 100 women no one in biology believes that is false, if it was true we would have been born in that type of situation at birth by having 9 females to every 1 male at birth ratio. A tribe that practiced that would also face genetic fitness problems, every one being related and fishers principle suppressing the female birthrate and increasing the male one trying fix the mess they created by getting rid of 90 males when ever a situation like that happens species go extinct .the actual truth is In biology The reproductive value of men and women is equal because the parental expenditure to create both a male and female is the same and each sex has the ability to effect the other sexes birth rate because of the 1:1 ratio there is actually a biological equation for this. so to finish off reproductive value is measured in the sex ratio at birth 1:1. I tried to explain this in the easiest way i could as it can get very complex if you do not understand the foundational knowledge needed to understand biology which redpillers don't have a clue on. there are so many forces in evolution such as Nash equilibrium, Evolutionary game theory, evolutionary stable strategies , How the genome makes copies of itself in men and women and fishers principle all of them would not exist if men were disposable your husband needs to speak to an actual biologist and not the nonsense on the redpill. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisher%27s_principle . what cultures do has nothing to do with biology specially when it comes to male disposability and female infanticide.

avaliander · 2018-01-18T00:16:01+00:00

Hey, want to say that it gives me a warm feeling that you are sticking with your husband. I don't have advice on getting him off the redpill, maybe others here can help with that. But I do know how to maintain yourself under stressful living conditions.

To maintain your sanity, the first thing would be to admit that at a certain point you have exhausted all your options (or you've exhausted yourself and need room for yourself). If a person is unwilling to change their behavior, no amount of love, caring, or worrying will change things. At some point, it is up to him to change himself. When? Who knows.

But there are solid things you can do for yourself to keep your sanity up. These are some of the things that energizes me when i was living with a family member with issues.

1) Going out of the house, alone, for extended periods. Hobbies, classes, shopping, taking a walk, exercising are all great activities.

2) Setting boundaries with the family on topics we can discuss about. Give myself the ability to walk off rather than deal when things get especially rough.

3) I use some grounding techniques when I feel especially hopeless.

4) Spend time with friends so the issues do not become my whole life. You have a good support network? Start leaning :)

5) Vent vent vent. Outlets can be online or with a therapist.

6) Self care. Meditation? Yoga? Petting puppies at the park? A book by the beach? You know what is therapeutic for you. Go do it!

Want to end by saying that you should absolutely monitor your stress level and take care of yourself. Things might not change tomorrow or for a long time, but you can't care for your husband if you yourself fall apart.

drewdles151515 · 2018-01-15T03:14:09+00:00

I think Red Pill is abusive and delusional, but I happen to believe that some Men’s Rights issues are legitimate. Check out a movie called “The Red Pill: the documentary.” Mayne watch it with your husband. It’s actually a men’s rights movie, not about red pill (confusing, I know). Anyway, you should try to become an ally for him and make sure he doesn’t go full Red Pill. There’s a good side to men’s rights, which is compassion for men in areas people don’t typically have compassion for them. I think the healthy attitude is to try to have full empathy and compassion for women’s experiences, as well as full empathy and compassion for men’s experiences. There’s no reason to join a team or a side (feminism vs men’s rights). Perhaps you and your husband can go on this journey together. I think it’s important that you try to understand his worldview and not criticize it as completely delusional.

Travis2310 · 2018-01-19T20:57:04+00:00

"I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE HIM"

Lets see how long you keep this sentiment.

Dearredpill · 2018-01-30T19:49:17+00:00

I did it. Or, I'm doing it. My husband doesn't have depression, he's just, and I don't even want to dog him I love him so much, but seriously gullible. Like, he won't take my cheap ass on a free timeshare vacation because he says he will fall for it. So, I've always trusted him and we've never done that. He fell for it kind of like your husband... kind of in a cherry picking way that reinforced his feelings. It's a slippery slope though. Reading this page helped him realize he was joining a cult and that was a big changing point. A lot of seriously painful, open dialogue helped us. Also, I totally ran away for a weekend. If you've been married for 8 years, I don't know if you have kids, but I do, and I needed to be alone. I told him that, he got it, I picked a hotel, packed up, and spent an awesome weekend running, thinking, listening to music, some shopping, and lots of reading and lots of e-mailing him about where I was mentally at the moment. I think that weekend may have been the turning point to get us to a good place. I'd suggest getting him involved in something he loves, which is one of those true things RP says to make themselves sound like a real thing... take time for yourself. Which, is absolutely true and absolutely something basically everyone else says too. It might help him shake himself out of a spiral.
Also, find out what got him there. I truly believe they go searching for something, and then it just sucks them in from there. What got him there will be the most important thing for him to work on.
And as a last resort, when he is in a good mood and trying to work on it, maybe suggest putting a parental lock on reddit so he can't go looking for bias confirmation when he's feeling the pull. Or something... I'm not tech savvy, but if he's on board, he should agree and let you have the password for it.
And maybe point out to him that the end goal, whether he believes in it or not, tends to be divorce. They say it's the women that will divorce-rape them, and blame them, but then all applaud divorces and give on advice on how mot to get divorce-raped. If he's not looking for that, remind him how easy it was to get this far in, and tell him that that is not what you want so you'd hate to see him continue to be sucked in.
I'm sorry you're going through this. This sucks.

dailyqt · 2018-02-08T17:51:04+00:00

My husband used to read TRP as well. Not righteously, but he would every once in a while mention how smart they are and all that bullshit. Then I started reading it. It made me absolutely sick to my stomach, some of the stuff that I was reading. At first, I didn't want to hurt his feelings by bringing up "that bullshit I read on TRP today." Then I realized that he's an adult and can handle me telling him that I think the things on that sub were bullshit. It's been a while, but he truly sees them for what they are now.

RPLawyer · 2018-02-05T14:05:49+00:00

First of all, he should probably get some professional help for his depression. TRP isn't supposed to be a therapy. Second, you can't stop him from seeing the truth. If you truly love him (like you people like to claim women love men), support him through this anger phase because it's completely normal. Then if I were you I would suggest him to read some marriage-oriented RP material, such as the book Married Man Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay. Also anything by Ian Ironwood is a good funny read that even you would enjoy.

Your husband clearly is not happy. I'm not saying it's your fault, it's very likely that he has never been happy and was falsely led to believe that a marriage would solve this. I do not wish for your relationship to end but I do believe that the solution resides in the material I've mentioned above.

Best of luck to both of you.

ShotgunTRP · 2018-02-06T10:41:07+00:00

Fuck his brains out daily. Kinkiest craziest sex.

This will clear him right up

Reven311 · 2018-04-11T22:09:03+00:00

Well, for one thing you can have him send me a message online and we can chat via Reddit's system. I am an Ex-Endorsed Contributor on TRP from years ago and I went through what he is going through, and so I am in a unique position to help detoxify his mind and understand his frustrations. This is a lengthy process, but I don't think he will benefit from talking to anyone else, because other people simply do not understand the issues involved here.

Another thing you can do is study the information yourself. Go to /r/redpillwomen and read what women are saying and look at what strategies they are doing to achieve happy relationships with the men in their lives. Do what you can to demonstrate how important he is to you and your love. Tell him what you like about him as a person. Talk with him about the red pill if you can do it without it ending in a huge argument, tell him you will not be offended by anything he might say, and try to deconstruct it yourself. But if you attempt to do so as a novice you may fail.

TRP is a extremely complex topic and so he really needs professional help to get through this efficiently or he just has to muddle through it on his own, and that may be years. You need to try to isolate why he feels drawn to TRP and what you may have done to possibly encourage this thinking in him. But just asking him he will probably be evasive, so he may feel comfortable talking with me.

Good luck.

grimreapersdtr · 2018-02-24T16:43:12+00:00

I don't know if I could deal with a dude like this.
I had an ex who was very "redpill" despite not actually going on the red pill. It didn't last. I was tired of being treated like trash and hearing his misogynistic "jokes" 24/7 despite the fact I was very submissive/timid to begin with. They have no limit to their desire to belittle and control women.

Title	Help with depressed husband reading RP
Author	troyandabedinthebed
Upvotes	18
Comments	21
Date	January 14, 2018 11:18 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/7qfi4a/help_with_depressed_husband_reading_rp/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/help-with-depressed-husband-reading-rp.300130 https://theredarchive.com/post/300130

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