Im talking about the saying "Oh you did this and that, now she owes you sex huh ?". Yeah i totally agree, nobody owes you sex but please, in which world do i even start with doing someting just by sheer goodwill ?

Cause i kinda look at it this way: Is it even a selfless act if you would like to sleep with the girl ? Do i just have to pretend that im not doing it because i want her to like me so much that she wants to have sex with me ? Do i need to convience myself that im only doing good deeds because some form of higher power makes me want to do it ?

of course. Thinking that "She owes you" is crap. But everytime i dont get something back from my advances and deeds, im just frustrated cause it just feels so onesided. So where do i even fucking start ? Maybe im am just a egotistical asshole but how do i then stop being one. I dont think i get satisfaction out of just helping for the sake of helping and im figuring 99% dont too they just think they do but in reality it boost their interlectual ego/ they feel needed / They get closer to having sex etc.

I have a similar issue with other things too. Like for example i often hear that Woman in a relationship feel presaaured into sex bacause their bodyfriend want to have sex everytime they meet (i was in that situation too) but what the fuck am i supposed to do ? Do i there, just as in the other example, just have to pretend that i dont want sex ???