https://www.npr.org/transcripts/301824760

I had an unfruitful argument with people on this sub when I asked for clarification on what they meant by "falling in love". Having failed to get a straight answer (and after being called a sad stupid ignorant fool, lol) I Googled what science had to say about it. Helen Fischer is a biological anthropologist who studied people who claim to be in "love" under an MRI machine.

Based on the above linked interview and her paper abstract online, I conclude that romantic "love" is a fancy term for "obsession about the object of interest" i.e. obsessing about a partner who fits their list of criteria (what Fischer calls a love map). This seems exactly analogous to obsessing about Ferraris, dresses, houses or iPads.

In fact, people use the same language when speaking about objects that particularly meets their needs ("I fell in love with this house"). This has nothing to do with the emotion of love that is associated with compassion i.e. what people feel towards their children and close friends or other people in need. Usually there is no ambiguity when people talk about "loving" their PS4s or Ferraris. But when the object of obsession is a person, the English language fails. If I understand Fischer correctly romantic "love" isn't an emotion but a drive that is similar to (but distinct from) sex drive that evolved for the purpose of mate selection. The next time someone blathers about falling in "love", I will mental swap that word for "obsession".