Im seriously freaking out. I need help.

GladysSchwartz23 · 2024-07-26T20:53:45+00:00

You are very, very young to be worrying about being single for the rest of your life. It's really incredibly unlikely.

The thing you need to do is seek out and build friendships, and the best way to do that is to seek out groups of people IRL who do whatever hobby you're into. Dating will follow organically from that.

And stay the heck away from redpill and blackpill garbage, it's poison created by people who want to make money off of making you miserable.

Good luck!

luridlurker · 2024-07-26T16:50:03+00:00

Im seriously freaking out about being single for the rest of my life.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but being single for life is ok. That's not the end of the world.

I blew it by being needy and insecure.

Desperation to not be single and being worried that you're somehow not worthy will do that. You need to work on where your insecurities are coming from and work to heal them. Not because that will make you datable, but because it will make you so much more comfortable in your own life. Being better at dating is a side effect, not the end goal.

I really want to socialize with guys/meet girls in real life but I have no idea where to start.

It's tough - but follow your hobbies and interests. Most any hobby/interest has online communities, meet ups, clubs etc. Meeting people in real life is much much healthier than online and on dating apps if you can do it.

Also, Im back to watching redpill/blackpill videos.

Try and have some discipline and get off social media. If you can't do that, try limiting your time. 99% of that kind of content is grifters working to keep you discouraged so you remain engaged and giving them views (and ad revenue).

dating apps stopped working for me

Dating apps can be pretty toxic. They're designed to keep people engaged with the app and willing to opt for the "upgraded" for-pay service. They're not designed to get someone happily matched with someone. If your matches are drying up - you might be being pushed (by the algo) to sign up for a subscription.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-07-26T23:02:53+00:00

Do one thing a week that caused you to defeat your social anxiety. That can include attending a social event, starting a conversation, extending an invitation, exchanging contact info, saying no, expressing an opinion, disagreeing, or setting a boundary. If it doesn't give you anxiety to do it doesn't count, and the win is if you say no to your anxiety not if you actually get the desired outcome.

Alternative_Meat_716 · 2024-07-27T09:00:38+00:00

Bro first of all, you're not alone. I feel like we all had that feeling at one point (I'm 26 M) . And I guess life surprised each of us with quite the opposite. Everytime I feel like that I start not giving 2 shits about dating and boom! A great woman just walks into my life. Fokus on yourself and do what you love. The rest will literally solve itself. And if you want to push the issue, throw yourself into cold waters and try cold approaches once in a while to learn how to be more authentic without becoming needy 👌 meditation also helps recognizing needy impulses before acting upon them.

Best of luck

ComprehensiveHat8073 · 2024-07-28T01:09:32+00:00

A woman from work asked you out?! That's rare. Are you very handsome or something? Anyway, if a woman asked you out I think you don't have to worry about her being your last chance. You just need to learn how to relax and go with the flow. Join a meditation group.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-07-28T02:48:11+00:00

Oh, is redpill+blackpill content helping your dating or making you feel better? No? Then stop consuming it, it is tailored to make you feel worse and claim it can fix the problems it just gave you.

In general, dating gets easier if you get used to socializing with other people, especially women, in regular non dating scenarios: humanizing women, realizing they are individuals and not all looking for reasons to hate you, will help a lot. This will also give you a bigger social circle. You even get to see what you actually prefer in women that you intend to date, which makes it easier to not be needy.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-07-28T20:40:06+00:00

Dating apps generally have worse people than you would find out in the world.

But a first step for yourself: get out of the scarcity mindset of seeing women as these rare beings and seeing every woman as your last chance.

Normalize-polyamory · 2024-07-30T14:58:56+00:00

I 28M have been in similar situations to you as far as feeling starved of social interaction. Particularly after I graduated from college and moved to a town where I didn’t know anybody. It took a while, but I attended enough social events where I managed to build a community of close friends and a wife. Facebook and meetup events are a pretty great way to get out there and meet people. You can search for something you like. It can induce social anxiety to talk to strangers at bars, clubs, or parks but if you go to an event, it’s expected to talk to people. There could be little things you can start with to build your courage like just looking for events online. Next you could swing by the event, maybe not fully go to it but just recognize that it’s an option and then go home. Then you can actually attend an event but more as an observer. Perhaps not saying much but listen more. Then you can go to another event and participate more. Introduce yourself to someone. Ask the typical conversation starters like what’s your name, where are you from, what do you do for work, did you go to college, what did you study, what do you like to do in your free time, what do you think about current events, etc. once you build a stronger connection with someone, you can ask deeper questions. There may be women at these events too. You can treat them just as you would any other person and get to know them respectfully. Being friends with a person first is perhaps one of the easiest ways to develop a romantic relationship with them while going straight to dating can be sometimes intimidating and might turn some women off.

ClassicEssay1379 · 2024-08-05T05:01:28+00:00

You’re only 25. :) you haven’t screwed up or done anything to seal your fate for the rest of your life. You are the one who controls what you do in the future. Love and take care of yourself first, before finding a girlfriend, and be confidently yourself.

Accurate_Problem_480 · 2024-08-26T03:25:38+00:00

The comment section is making me so happy for all you men !!! I think that you are stressing yourself out WAY to much 25 is a great age to start your life , and I feel (judging by your fears) that you have good values. You got this !!! You can do it!! First if you would like to socialize more but don't know how, get a good friend you're comfortable with (could be a sister brother cousin ect) and try karaoke bars make friends. After a couple of drinks it's just fun, if that's to much for you anxiety you can check on Facebook groups for group outings (bike ride, art exhibition, ) if you like hiking that could be a good one or you can even make your own group and organize an event, stay away from ppl that don't share your values.

Title	Im seriously freaking out. I need help.
Author	Fabger99
Upvotes	12
Comments	16
Date	July 26, 2024 2:37 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1ecpovn/im_seriously_freaking_out_i_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/im-seriously-freaking-out-i-need-help.1525387 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525387

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