Learning how to spot redpillers is pointless

xvszero · 2021-02-06T20:02:44+00:00

I think this is loosely true but you have to remember that not everyone has a good internal radar, especially if they grew up in chaotic situations and don't have the best models for what a good relationship looks like.

thetruthishere_ · 2021-02-06T20:26:11+00:00

Lucky for me Im 'old' so they wont bother with me as they chase after 20 year olds. haha.

TeePeeDucks · 2021-02-06T23:01:28+00:00

Red pill is a mindset and a worldview. It's in line with other anti human and narcissistic worldviews.

Redpillers are not going to lie about their worldview but they might try to hide it, you should be able to see gaps

Ask questions related to a person's worldview and that's how you find out.

So instead of remembering a list of red flags. I'd say it's more effective in finding out their worldview.

rainbowbarfff · 2021-02-08T22:02:12+00:00

Perhaps this is the inherent difference between Redpill and FDS (I find both abhorrent and abusive practices, but I do consider Redpill to be fundamentally more damaging and dangerous) - but Redpillers can be extraordinarily threatening your physical well-being as a woman. Also, FDS exists as a direct response to Redpill - without the popularization of Redpill there would be no FDS community.

I became interested in reading about Redpill after going on so many dates with guys off Okcupid and hitting it off, but dumping them almost immediately once they started showcasing this strange pattern of behavior that made me feel like they were all taking some sort of secret online class on how to be a complicated asshole.

I had two separate experiences where these guys had complete fucking meltdowns after I dumped them for behaving weirdly with me. The first guy put the moves on me hard after seeing each other a few times, we had sex, and he had a freakout where he was foaming at the mouth, spitting everywhere, and cornering me in his room because.....I had the audacity to sleep with him and he really liked me? He started talking about how he thought I would fight more, now I'm "just a plate" and I was so thoroughly scared and turned off by this person who was getting REALLY aggressive for a reason he had in his head and in his head only. I was so confused by this and decided to google what "plate" was, and this led me to learning about Redpill.

The second guy was someone who I decided would be a FWB because I did like sleeping with him, but he was giving me such mixed signals that I wasn't really interested in pursuing him for more than just sex. He was cute, he seemed smart and I did like him as much as you could possibly like someone after dating them super casually for a few months but I'm not going to twist anyone's arm into being my boyfriend. Well, I think this upset him because one night he starts verbally attacking me out of thin air. He starts going off on how career women think they're some sort of prize (I am very career-oriented) and that I needed to make a decision on whether I wanted a man and a family or a career because I can't have both, and then he started asking me questions like "Why aren't you upset at the fact that I don't want you as my girlfriend? Do you think you're better than me? Do you think I'm not a high-value male?". This man was grabbing and shaking me, I had to physically fight him off and basically RAN as soon as he let me go. I googled "high-value male" because it's what stood out to me the most, and I came across Redpill yet again.

I started reading up on it and became more or less educated on how men use it to talk to women, and now that I know, I pick up on it very easily especially on dating sites.

Do you know the worst part? I really liked both of those guys because they were smart and interesting guys with so many cool things to talk about. They were nerdy, but I LIKE nerdy. I'm into smart guys! The first guy I mentioned tried talking to me so many times after that with apology after apology for his behavior, but why would I forgive him much less give him another chance? He absolutely ruined it. The second guy would leave me paragraphs upon paragraphs of hate texts for days on end and threatened physical violence if he ever saw me again. I also ended up blocking him and almost pressed charges on him. Maybe I should've but he left me alone after that.

Maybe learning how to spot red pillers isn't something applicable for men, but it's a matter of safety for women.

sugarbear08 · 2021-02-07T15:32:37+00:00

I think the real question to "how to spot red pillers"...is "Can I trust myself.... both my intuition and my ability to leave a harmful/neglectful situation?" In my experience of a Red Pill relationship there was most definitely an element of deception and concealment of his true intentions.

One thread I read the commentor told to the OP to get off her "high horse" and advised her to give the person the benefit of the doubt.... for asking the posted question. For a Red Pill relationship to continue that sense of understanding, compassion, empathy takes a dark turn towards self-compromise. It's super easy to say just leave... but once it starts it feels like quicksand. Red, green, purple flag... what matters is that you have a solid understanding of what you will or won't tolerate in a relationship. Rejection becomes your best ally.

Learning to trust yourself again is part of the healing process. I'm doing this through observing Men...not at work or in friendships, but specifically Men who weight lift. As a former D1 athlete, I had many male weightlifting coaches who had exceptional personal/professional character. My ex-partner inspired to get involved with weightlifting again... but now I feel uneasy when I hear a man tell me he's into weightlifting. First thought, "Is he Red Pill?" Those triggers are going to be different for everyone... but observation helps a great deal with rebuilding self-trust. So far the Men I have observed are really good guys.

Edit for grammar. I have dyslexia so there are most likely more mistakes. :)

defo18 · 2021-02-06T22:05:20+00:00

nobody really knows what a person is like and sometimes we mistake ourselves to thinking that we are somehow special to be able to spot out these people and I say that as a person who is pretty social and is a leader and works in retail.

Spotting potential theives and crackheads. Is something that I do on the normal and even still I don't know what their lives are outside of the five minutes they come into my store

I've also been on the opposite spectrum to where somebody thinks they somehow know everything about me but I prove them wrong every single time and that comes from their own biases and opinions of course but just because you have gone through something or even make it a point to study and learn does not mean you are going to be accurate

Title	Learning how to spot redpillers is pointless
Author	tiposk
Upvotes	53
Comments	12
Date	February 6, 2021 5:43 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/le2ivy/learning_how_to_spot_redpillers_is_pointless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/learning-how-to-spot-redpillers-is-pointless.1192843 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192843

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