Please help me.

ArgyleOutOfSpace · 2022-08-12T15:12:31+00:00

Homie you’re 18 years old. I didn’t lose my viriginity til 21 and my first relationship wasn’t til I was 24.

You have time, but it’s gonna take work.

The first and most important thing you need to do is you need to get yourself into therapy mate. Once a week is preferable, but however frequently you can afford. I’m going to assume you’re still living at home so a part time job will lend itself to this.

Start to correct issues within yourself and make changes in your life that make YOU happy. People want to date people that are happy with themselves.

I liken it like this, I didn’t get my fashion sense corrected, my health and fitness corrected and my hobbies corrected so that someone else would love me. I did it all so that I would love myself and my life.

Society tells us that we need a person to complete us. I’ve been single more than I’ve been in a relationship at 31 years old. But I’m happier then I’ve ever been and im currently alone.

You’ll be okay man. Stop trying to focus on getting someone else. It’s time for you to start the work for you to get yourself.

All Will Be Well

Yalahabibi6969 · 2022-08-12T13:21:52+00:00

Hi I’m 17 I’ve lost so many friends and family bcuz of shitty relationships, Red Pill and Radical Catholic. I know how you’ve feel I’ve been there and currently I don’t have a social circle but what I’m advising you is don’t suck it up, Don’t be cold about your feelings let it all out, bcuz I’ve done it when I was 10 when my mom and sis died bcuz of a ten wheeler and it fucked me up. And also don’t kill yourself its not going to solve your problems. I’m an atheist I don’t believe in Jesus bcuz when I die its all over its game over think about all those things you should be doing when your alive and have a good life I know life sucks but as Frank Sinatra say “that’s life”.

mountingsuspicion · 2022-08-12T12:40:02+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry to hear that you feel like this. Some other commenters have said it as well, but I don’t think that anybody here is really equipped to help you the way that you may need help. Regardless, I think you should probably step away from social media and online communities as much as possible right now. It sounds like your discord “friends“ are not really great people.

I don’t know if you have people in real life that you can talk to, but that would be my number one suggestion. Barring that, see if there is an animal shelter near you. You would likely be able to volunteer there, but even if not, maybe say that you are looking to adopt and see if they will let you hang out with some dogs or cats in the little trial areas. I don’t know that all places allow it, but nothing will make you feel more immediately loved then spending some time with some animals. It’s kind of more of a shallow solution, but animals have been known to lower stress, and it may be more accessible than therapy in the moment considering your other comments.

I would suggest spending some time in nature and just going for walks, but maybe being alone right now is not something that is going to be good for you. What you really need is therapy and a better support network. I hope that you ere able to find this.

18 is really not that old. I know it feels like that, but it’s not. This level of negative self perception is, no offense, definitely not normal. It seems like there was a lot of toxicity that you were exposed to, and it will likely take some time to get out of that headspace. It looks like you also recently lost religion. I am not religious, but I was raised extremely religious. Losing that can really affect people. I’m not saying that you should retain your religion or anything, but keep in mind that it may be affecting you on a very deep level. Give yourself some time to heal. I hope you are able to find the help that you need.

988 is the new hotline. If things get really bad, I suggest reaching out to them. I am not really equipped to help in this way, but they are.

TheVillagePriestess · 2022-08-12T10:54:26+00:00

Who has told you these things about yourself? Also, you're only 18.

FellasImSorry · 2022-08-12T17:49:54+00:00

Get some psychological help. The problems you’re describing are way above the pay grade of commenters on Reddit.

zapadz · 2022-08-12T18:12:59+00:00

Get internal family systems therapy

Miriam_tigress · 2022-08-12T12:14:31+00:00

You sound like you're in a really bad place right now. I don't know where you live, but please, go get help, use a helpline or local counceling service and tell them about those suicidal thoughts. When you're depressed, desperation is a symptom, not an objective reality. There are plenty of people with no relationship at the age 18 and even later, it doesn't make you an unlovable person. But you could address your issues about relationships after your mental state will be improved, and for that - get professional help. After that we'll be here for you with all the useful advice on dating

AutoModerator · 2022-08-14T18:43:49+00:00

Dude, love does not bring happiness. People who have had partners, been married and even had children still die alone and miserable every day.

goodboy92 · 2022-08-12T18:49:41+00:00

My advice is to dedicate yourself to hobbies, go outside and meet people, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM DISCORD, INSTAGRAM, FACEBOOK, QUORA, YOUTUBE, ETC. I also have my first gf at the age of 18 and it was in college, remember that it is better to be financially stable when looking for gfs.

Edit: And also REDDIT. AJJAJAJ Discord's friends? are you fucking kikiriwikinme bro? Discord is a cesspool of suicidal, basement living, toxic bastards.

AutoModerator · 2022-08-12T08:35:17+00:00

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TheVillagePriestess · 2022-08-12T10:56:50+00:00

If you're seriously suicidal then you need to call a hotline and speak with people who are trained in dealing with helping you through those moments where our brains can lie to us about things before we get back to a better place. There are hotlines in many locations, please look it up.

You have have depression or some other mental health issue that may be temporary and doing that would be a permanent. You're very young and things are really hard at that time because you're dealing with a brain that is still growing, lots of things are changing, you haven't gotten good mental health information yet, and so much more.

Call a hotline, follow their advice, and then go to your local library to find self-help books from people that are educated in their fields. Look for something like an MD or PhD after their names. These are people that are actually trained in mental health and can give you quality resources. The biggest thing you need is to get off these channels with the grifters and start the detox process.

https://ibpf.org/resource/list-of-international-suicide-hotlines/

wasted_basshead · 2022-08-12T16:03:29+00:00

Try to seek out help and go for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT. It helps in changing the way you think and how to talk to other people.

zapadz · 2022-08-12T18:15:06+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KYYFJ-g3JE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgHttkEtVuo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byRYKW0pDuc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsyP80BydV4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVqANXVTLN4

http://happinessbeyondthought.blogspot.com/2012/05/surrendering-i-letting-go-of-suffering.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU1Rp184IT4

Naus1987 · 2022-08-12T18:32:04+00:00

Heh, I’m an asexual. Not everyone wants to date a guy who doesn’t enjoy sex, lol.

The secret to happiness is to make your own. Focus on your hobbies! Why die when you can play video games, build Lego, or race boats? Maybe learn to pilot a helicopter or build a house!

There’s so many wonderful things out there that you can enjoy without being in love. The world is your oyster, get out there and enjoy it!

Phuxsea · 2022-08-12T19:45:29+00:00

This is distressing. Forget about any relationship, focus on yourself.

theradtacular · 2022-08-12T22:56:56+00:00

You're young, things will change. Hopefully you can stick around this life and help others one day when you feel better about yourself. Live your life on your terms. Have fun, do things you want to do. If you're basing our happiness on being in a potential relationship, it won't be real and genuine happiness. Get professional help if you can. Maybe you need to spend time in a facility that can help you. If you're feeling that strongly, you can even call 911 and tell them, and they'll bring you to a facility.

SmackMeDownBabe · 2022-08-13T18:07:25+00:00

Pretty sure you should just give up. People are just gonna use you to the core and once they've squeezed everything out of ya, your toast. Suicide is good.

Egibson89 · 2022-10-29T12:55:38+00:00

I am a woman and didn’t lose my virginity till 20. I was already in college 2 years! Ur not defective

HappyRainbowSparkle · 2022-08-12T08:50:24+00:00

What are you doing to make yourself someone that someone wants to date? Most people don't want to date someone who talks like this. Also you're 18, you've barely lived.

Dholi34 · 2022-08-13T02:39:15+00:00

You want to be loved?

Awesome, first you gotta love yourself bro.

Walk everyday and get fresh air
Hit a gym 1 hour a day
No substances like weed nicotine and no porn, hop on nofap
Be nice to yourself, self help books will help you (its all In your head by russ, it's on youtube for free)
Don't be a victim bro, it's your job to change your life, feeling sorry for yourself and saying all this negative stuff IS A WASTE OF TIME
You know your better than this dude.

You want to be stop being a loser? Everyone was a loser and they WORKED HARD to become a winner. You got this bro. Take it one day at a time.

Honestly try this for 3 4 months, if you still feel sad, go therapy, but go make some gains, go make some money, and you will be good.

BTW why post this here?

Title	Please help me.
Author	UnitAmazing5226
Upvotes	23
Comments	121
Date	August 12, 2022 8:35 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/wmg37x/please_help_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/please-help-me.1127624 https://theredarchive.com/post/1127624

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