Red Pill philosophy and healthy relationships are a complete contradiction to each other.

My ex is and was a Red Pill PUA. I dated him for a year and it was hellish. I always felt disrespected and even completely dehumanized at times. If I knew how toxic this whole RP thing/he was I would have never dated him. I knew he had insecurities and issues when I started dating him but I thought he was just in a bad place at the time and just needed some emotional support. Instead he just never came away from it and the stuff he put me through just wore me down psychologically.

The things he‘d say eventually ended up resonating with me in really negative ways, I even started buy into some of the mind warping stuff he’d say constantly, which in turn only ended up feeding into my own insecurities and made me slowly feel resentful towards him.

He made me feel like once got older I’d no longer have any value to him and I’d be discarded of for someone younger. He also made me feel like I only had value to him because I provided sex, which was very much expected of me regardless of how I felt, and that kind of made me feel sexually repulsed towards him and lose interest in doing it all together.

He didn’t have any respect for my personal boundaries ether. He went through my phone multiple times and he messaged any guys that ether liked or left a comment one of my photos and ask if they were having sex with me. I found that really humiliating because then everyone thought the guy I was dating was really insecure or abusive. He accused me of cheating on him almost every day, despite absolutely nothing leading him to this concussion, because he already went though my phone and knew I wasn’t.

The worst thing was when he would remove the condoms during sex, I broke down eventually and he stopped doing it, but I found it really traumatic, I never had any intention of not using one.

Every time things started to be “okay” in the relationship, meaning that we were sexually active, we weren’t having problems/fighting and things were clam. It wouldn’t last, because he’d end up finding something, seeming out of nowhere to start a fight from, he’d always be testing me and things would regress back into me being repulsed by him.

I still have no idea what was up with this guy though out this whole relationship. I feel like his PUA friends/roommates were heavily influencing him as well. Fights and breakups would happen when his one of his friend was in town. Someone suggested he probably did this so he could go be single and party with girls.

I feel like he was cheating on me too because I found used condoms in his room, he said they belonged to his roommate, but who knows?

This whole relationship has left me reeling and I’m probably going to need a lot of time to recover from it.

I just wanted to share in hope that anyone reading this will come away choose to be a better person and focus on having healthy relationships instead, and to make sure you only surround yourself with good people who respect you.

Sorry for any typos, I’ll probably delete this later.