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A reminder from the Baggage Reclaim Queen, Natalie Lue

BasieSkanks

October 19, 2020
591 upvotes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
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Post Information
Title A reminder from the Baggage Reclaim Queen, Natalie Lue
Author

BasieSkanks

Upvotes 591
Comments 20
Date October 19, 2020 9:08 PM UTC
(5 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jeaut9/a_reminder_from_the_baggage_reclaim_queen_natalie/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-reminder-from-the-baggage-reclaim-queen-natalie.1194248
https://theredarchive.com/post/1194248
Top posts by BasieSkanks

Where is the lie, tho?

4653 upvotes
September 10, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Online dating in a nutshell; heads men win, tails women lose

4106 upvotes
December 22, 2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

My wish for 2021 and beyond is that more women realise that they don’t have to put up with callous, selfish behaviour in their relationships.

3427 upvotes
November 28, 2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

One smart Grandma! I came across this post on LinkedIn, and the comments were full of PickMes and men saying that this is “misandrist and dishonest”. Ladies, looking out for yourself is in YOUR BEST INTEREST.

3202 upvotes
May 20, 2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

The number of comments saying that the man acted this way “because he really likes her”. 🙄 this is not about affection - what you’re seeing here is the very early stages of controlling and abusive behaviour.

3152 upvotes
February 4, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

The uglies always have the most to say 🤡

2587 upvotes
July 13, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Men have become so comfortable with violating women’s boundaries that they don’t feel any shame in admitting to it

2414 upvotes
October 14, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

This is the double bind society presents women with when we try to speak the truth about male pattern behaviour. If we call it out, it’s misandrist. But if we don’t call it out and end up getting harmed anyway, it’s our fault for not seeing the signs. Head men win, tails women lose. Again.

2360 upvotes
March 11, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Comments

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[–]AveryhvwFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

I have a tendency to assume no one likes me (even if they do-unless no one has ever liked me which is possible ngl). Not sure how to tell when I’m always in doubt.

[–]GourmayFDS Apprentice 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Go into therapy if you can or read self-help books on the topic. You may have had a narcissistic parent or caretaker who made you feel that way growing up. It's my case.

[–]AveryhvwFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Ding ding ding! Thank you, you’re totally right. I know I should do therapy (again). This issue kind of prevents me from seeing one because in my experience they only try to help if they like you, they only remember details of your life if they’re a bit invested. I can’t get a therapist to like me to save my life 🙃

[–]she_is_munchkinsFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to find a professional registered psychologist. They shouldn't allow their biases to get in the way of treating you. Keep looking.

[–]GourmayFDS Apprentice 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It seems your issue with not feeling liked is also translating to therapists. Their goal isn’t to like you but to provide guidance on your thinking patterns. I would suggest discussing that very issue with them.

[–]AveryhvwFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

My last DBT therapist called me literally ten minutes before an unexpected opening, and I agreed to come, but I had to call her back 5 minutes later when the person who agreed to watch the elderly person in my care called me back and said they couldn’t come anymore. Was she understanding? No, she very coldly texted that she would be billing me for the session since I was canceling on her! This woman was making $1,000 a week on each person in her DBT group. Then she would pause the therapy and say this week will just be about some general topic. Ok but we still had to pay the same price? Maybe she liked me or maybe not, but when the therapist cares more about billable hours then treating you, it’s the same effect. I think they need to respect you and like you somewhat, or they take advantage of you (even if they are treating you for something like learning to stand up for yourself).

[–]GourmayFDS Apprentice 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I totally understand being upset about this situation but that seems like they were unprofessional more than not liking you. I've seen unprofessional healthcare people (or in any field) and they tend to treat everyone like this. Keep looking, don't ignore your instincts obviously but know there are great therapists out there!

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have a tendency to assume no one likes me

Same. I’ve only been asked out once by a woman. The rest have been men and I don’t like men.

[–]stevie7116FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have no advice for you right now but I also have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria - a common symptom of untreated female adhd. 😭 it helped me to read about it if you wanted to do some googling.

[–]fox_dariaFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

same! therapy has been very helpful to me. I still have the doubts but more tools to address them.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for this. I really needed to see this.

I’m currently in a situation where I’m putting in almost all of the effort. My feelings for her are strong so it’s hard to let go but I guess I have to.

[–]avocadotoastalldayFDS Apprentice 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Narcissists will do this too tho so be careful out there :/

[–]aliengames666FDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Here’s the thing though: this isn’t always true. Sometimes someone will really like you but they won’t show up and they won’t connect and they won’t be able to be there for you for whatever reason.

And at that point, they’re showing you that they aren’t ready for what you want, and it’s best for you to move on to avoid getting caught in their toxic mess.

So yeah, them caring about you isn’t everything. They have to show up and treat you right too.

[–]BasieSkanks5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

This is what Natalie is saying.

[–]she_is_munchkinsFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

NLM was a lifesaver for me and my bestie in university 👌

Had to remind myself this today when I realized how little effort the guy I'm dating is putting into getting to know and pursue me. I've decided to remove him from the roster.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Someone I have recently met through a mutual online group confessed to me. I'm actually in shock he didn't even dance around the Bush, make weird sexual comments towards me etc.

He just up and said "look, I have a massive crush on you"

How grim that this is the most HVM I've seen in a long time

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]BasieSkanks9 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That really does suck, and it sounds like you have a lot of questions on your mind. My advice would be to focus on healing. Take the time to mourn the end of the relationship. Throw yourself into hobbies and seeing people who love and care about you. It’s going to be tough, but you’ll come out stronger.

As for how that happened...it’s tough to say. But the point is, he no longer matters. He’s shown you who he is, and that person he has shown you is not capable of treating you the way you deserve. You deserve so much better.

[–]22leafcloverFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Reading the title fast I was preparing myself for a lost baggage reclaim story lmao

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