About "Getting The Bag" ...

cantsextihavebills · 2021-02-28T12:45:21+00:00

I think it's a really personal choice. On one hand yeah, get your bag if it's there for the taking. Zero damage to you, little to no damage to the man.

The other side of the coin is that you'll start to view people as disposable- a means to an end.

As tempting as it is to capitalize on your ability to "get" things from people it puts you in the possession of selling yourself. Essentially objectifying yourself. You are the product- your time, your energy, your attention. You'd need to be incredibly self aware and introspective in order to come out of arrangements like that mentally unscathed. And you'll be judged for it. I don't agree with those judgements, but we all know they're there.

Personally I say leave well enough alone. When I was younger I thought I had all the time in the world and wasted a lot of it on situations like this. The things I got then are gone now. Every moment you spend on some man that's not worth your time is a moment you're taking away from yourself.

miasmicivyphsyc · 2021-02-28T11:57:23+00:00

It’s ridiculous the lengths people will go to infantilize men. You know the boys will be boys talk. Which has been used to justify everything especially rape. I’ve noticed then it’s an older man with significant financial resources paired with a younger woman, everyone is quick to paint the woman as an evil gold digging bitch. They never put any blame on the man who is happily exploiting a younger woman and in some cases grooming her to be his emotional sexual punching bag. They never seem to blame society for making sure that men have generational wealth, unprecedented capital, free wage slavery in the form of their wives, and the general expectation that runs on undermining and devaluing the work of women.

Won’t someone think of the gross older balding greedy man? I mean he’s so innocent and naïve, he’s clearly being exploited by the fresh out of college, broke, 20 some thing that comes from a broken home. Because that’s the real tragedy here right?

2021-02-28T11:26:54+00:00

I'll be honest, this makes me angry.

throwRAwhatisthis · 2021-02-28T11:41:02+00:00

I was watching sheras videos for a while. My therapist suggested that it wasn’t a positive influence and was making me angry and bitter. She told me not to watch her for a while.

But I still question if this is the approach. I’m starting to open my heart to dating again but have already been sorely disappointed. I wonder if this is the only way. Do men even deserve our hearts, our love, our undying kindness and loyalty? Of course not the majority. But I guess do ANY? They act like they are so entitled to it. What can we actually get from men?

miasmicivyphsyc · 2021-02-28T11:53:18+00:00

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purasangria · 2021-02-28T11:56:06+00:00

She's awesome! Her channel is recommended in the FDS Handbook. She emphasizes that a woman does not need to accept attention from "dusties" -- those stingy or broke men that have nothing to offer a woman but are happy to waste a woman's time or demand that she pay for dates or for anything else.

She tells women how to level up and look like they are a more desirable woman to most men. There will always be exceptions, of course. She covers behavior, grooming, strategy, how to get a wealthier man, how to "get the bag," i.e., get a man who will spend on you and give you material things.

While this is useful, one has to remember that FDS emphasizes that women need to get a career so that they are not dependent on a man for material things. This gives us the most important ability: The ability to walk away from any man who does not treat us well or any situation that we dislike and does not benefit us.

thiswomanthatiknow · 2021-02-28T12:47:23+00:00

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luckyshvara · 2021-02-28T12:31:15+00:00

I fully support this. Now I am in great social circles, yet HVM are rare to come by (contrary to some FDSers who say 'find good hobbies and good social circles' and who demonize OLD), they only look like HVM. But I enjoy flirting (with men and women) and I enjoy being courted. Also dating/flirting (without sex or serious emotional commitment - from my side) helps me to have some rest and recharge from my intensive career-building.

To all FDSers who commented 'focus on your career' to your post - I am 100% focused on my career. But it is exhausting, so why not enjoy some flirting and courtship? Why not accepting that bag from someone meanwhile making savings to my investment account? Life is not black and white, I can and want to have both.

Make sure you dont get attached to guys who are not HVM material though. You need strong boundaries for that. Also I recommend books 'Men dont love women like you', and specifically 'Ho Tactics' for this case. Harsh books by same author, but useful strategies. Some advice is not FDS though, so use at your own discretion.

Astral_weaver · 2021-02-28T12:35:43+00:00

Becoming financially dependent to an older rich man? No thanks, that's not HV in any way.

We can date affluent people, but the real deal is to be financially independent. Can an affluent suitor help you with their connections to expand your own career? Good. Is he generous with you not only in material terms but also emotionally? Good. Anything else is straight up powerplay and exploitation.

luckyshvara · 2021-02-28T13:21:11+00:00

One more thing - many FDS women are concerned that this is 'indecent' behaviour for HVW, and are concerned of loosing their 'dignity'.

Firstly, I personally lost my decency while being 'Barbara the builder'. I lost my decency while dating ugly and cheap guys, brainwashed, as many women in modern society, by the idea of 'love conquers all'. I lost my decency when my boss hired male intern who couldnt tell debit from credit into accounting department because they were from same university, but questioned my CV because of non-for-profit internships. Finally, I lost my decency when HVM-looking guys from good universities, families and nice jobs tried to 'plate' me in the end of first date.

Secondly, I think men came up with a concept of 'dignity' to control women. Do you often see decent men? Me neither. How often the concept of dignity is applied to men? If he dates many women, he is a 'ladies' man'. If he has sex with many women, he is a 'player', and 'has a game'. If he marries rich girl, he 'upped his game'. If he marries poor girl, he is a 'breadwinner'. If he has successful career, he is a prize. If he has a simple job, he is a 'simple guy with simple life'.

This list is endless. Now try to phrase the same for women. Anyways, I have no dignity, I lost it to LVM. If I meet a HVM, I will be a HVW for him. But from others I can try to get benefits.

Title	About "Getting The Bag" ...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	21
Date	February 28, 2021 11:11 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ludg1q/about_getting_the_bag/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/about-getting-the-bag.1192137 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192137

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