So I decided to watch Farrow v Allen on HBO. I know enough already to be absolutely repulsed by Woody Allen in every way possible but one thing really jumped out at me while watching that I had never really thought about before, and haven’t seen mentioned anywhere in this sub or in discussion in general.

Woody Allen legally adopted 2 of Mia Farrows adopted children and was the biological father of a third, because Mia Farrow thought he was her “life partner” and wanted the younger kids to have a dad. When Dylan Farrow accused him of sexually assaulting her as a young child (from all experts’ analysis quite credibly) and Mia Farrow stood by her and an investigation was opened, Woody Allen sued her for full custody of all three children (including Dylan, the 7 year old he was being investigated for molesting) because “Mia Farrow was an unfit, hysterical mother” and he claimed she was spreading lies (because he had recently been outed as having an affair with her other teenage adopted daughter who he had been around for a decade as a quasi-father figure. Pardon me while I go vomit right quick).

I see posts semi-frequently about how awesome it is when the fiancé/husband wants to adopt the woman’s kids as they get married. “So sweet!” “He’s so committed!” “They’ll finally have a real dad!” And people everywhere swoon about how great the guy is. And maybe they’re right, not all men are NVM. But it gives them EQUAL legal rights to your children. I know no one wants to think that their “soulmate” would do something that horrible. I come from a broken home, I’ve had both parents trot out new partners as “your new parent, they’re awesome, we’re going to be a real family!” (they usually weren’t). I’ve watched my friends 8 year relationship unravel because the guy we all thought was madly in love with her was actually fucking hookers the entire time. YOU NEVER KNOW.

You can divorce an LVM, you can’t divorce any legal rights you gave him over your kids. I don’t have children so I know I can’t fully understand what goes into these decisions from a mothers standpoint (not to get personal but my mom swore the guy who ended up abusing me was going to be a great new dad, thank god he didn’t have legal rights to me) but it seemed like something that would be important for people to be aware of if they were not already. Luckily the judge denied Woody Allen’s custody suit (with a scathing judgement that straight up said he didn’t think Allen should even be around Dylan period let alone have sole custody) but that is not guaranteed, especially with some of the MRA judges that exist these days.