So I have learned a lot from here and there are things about myself I want to change. There are however things I can't change or will be very difficult to as I have autism. It doesn't mean that I'll never try, I always aim to improve myself however throughout the years, there were things I haven't been able to change despite me trying really hard.

I am not good around strangers or a lot of people. I do not like to socialise much.

I had one traumatic event with my ex. Despite of telling him my limitations and what I can or cannot do, he made me meet around 40 people in span of 3 days. On 3rd day, I cried to him that I can't cope with meeting so many people, it's just too much for me. He ended up continuing the party and I ended up having massive meltdown and panic attack. I ran off at night because I just couldn't cope with it. I have been blamed for ruining the party.

It made me feel really bad about myself and that there is literally no one in the world who is like me. That everyone has so rich social life. My ex claimed to be introvert who doesn't socialise much.

It's something I have been trying to change in my life but didn't really had much of positive results.