Ladies (beautiful and brilliant ladies😊) do not punish yourself if you cannot catch red flags the minute/second it happens. As you level up, shit will get easier to spot. But, some things may take a few hours or a few days to process. So, make sure to exercise your discernment muscle.

Learn to recognize the difference between seemingly similar things and how that thing can be weaponized. Analyze men's behavior using the 5 questions: How? Why? When? Where? And What?

  1. How did he speak to me? Was it tender or callous?
  2. Why did he say it? Was it to coerce me into agreeing with him?
  3. When did he say it? After knowing him for 2 weeks or after paying for a date?
  4. Where did say it? In a public space with no privacy or intentionally in a private space with no exit?
  5. What did he say? Was it sexist, racist, or relevant to you?

This will help you understand your intuition. Men cannot abuse every woman the same. It's similar, yes. But it's tailored to each woman differently. The goal is to deny what you want by giving you what you don't.

Also think about teasing (versus taunting). I like to tease and be teased by people I love. But how far is too far? Too far is teasing repeatedly when the other person expressed discomfort. It's teasing about something deeply personal. It's teasing about something they cannot control like their face or body. When it's negging, it's abusive. But if it's done to ease self-conscious behaviors, it may not be.

My ex sent a lot memes. He did that to avoid conversation and ignore me. Are memes bad? No. Will I think men sending memes in the future is bad? Not necessarily. But if sending memes is weaponized to intentionally not meet my needs, then yes🚩