Applying standards to friendships

glendoraza · 2021-03-02T01:09:45+00:00

I have a friend from childhood who naturally has FDS qualities without ever hearing about FDS.

When I was a pick me, I thought her standards were too high and now I totally understand her standards. She picked a good major and is making good money and she has great friends and great job and bought a home. All the works

I also had a friend who was flakey and didn’t show up on time or would cancel so I stopped being friends. So FDS helps me see I deserve good friends, too!

2021-03-02T01:34:38+00:00

Yeah, I am definitely applying it to other areas. It's Female Life Strategy.

LeighHolloway44 · 2021-03-02T03:05:16+00:00

One hundred percent! I went on a huge “cut off” kick a couple years ago after going through a major court case (my child was the victim of a violent crime). I just...SAW everyone for who they truly were, and, more importantly, MY role in it. I realized I couldn’t stand my best friend of 16 years. She was married and used my single status as an excuse to go out and flirt with other men while subsequently cock blocking me. She was also a terrible parent who never disciplined her awful child. I decided to cut her off, just naturally. It really is best when you take an honest look at yourself and know that you do have the power to create what you want your life to be like :) I no longer have time for energy vampires who come in a “friend” package.

slipperyfoots · 2021-03-02T05:33:54+00:00

Absolutely! Who you're surrounding yourselves with and talking to about your personal life, and whose opinions you're getting on how you're working through your life is so important.

Conturas · 2021-03-02T09:06:31+00:00

I used to be huge social pick me. I used to have quantity over quality what comes to friendships. But now I'm navigating towards smaller amount but better, deeper friendships.

It's been quite sad to see how low quality some of my friendships have been.

pretty_kill · 2021-03-02T17:56:05+00:00

This last year, I swear I had so many boundary issues with friends. I definitely needed to learn a lesson. Boundaries are super important in all aspects of our life. Friends, people we date, family members, even the media we consume. It all affects us, and we have to be aware and awake about what we let in our space (mentally and physically)!

It has been worded before in better ways, but the type of friends you keep have dictate the type of life you will have. We reflect behaviors of the type of people we hang out with. We're social creatures who copy each other. Some are better at resisting it than others, but I am not that person. I really have to be intentional about the people in my friend sphere or my mental health suffers.

I've also noticed I just can't connect with people who live a life that is in some ways something I never want to live. A friend talking about all the fucked up men she wants to date? Pining over the shitty ones she lost? Idolizing situations that are obviously unhealthy? Fucking pass. Girl, you may want to lead a fucked up life and waste your youth on losers, but I know what I want, and it is not in that direction. I try to show her how unhealthy it is, but when she was uninterested I stopped wasting my time.

We shouldn't let people bring us down to their level. Instead we should focus on cultivating meaningful relationships with people who help lift us up (hopefully we do the same to them too).

driftylandmissy · 2021-03-03T19:02:53+00:00

In the past few years, I've phased out more than one friend because I constantly felt the relationship was unbalanced. But having these types of friends helped me understand where/how I wasn't showing up as a friend, too.

Comments