Arguments vs. problem solving

2019-12-18T16:42:49+00:00

Dysfunctional people think confrontation means conflict.

They’re incapable of receiving information that they don’t like without somehow escalating the issue to a full-blown argument.

I used to operate in a very similar way, and so did the partners I chose. I learned through therapy that I was modelling my own family dysfunction.

Hurt =/= harm.

I had to repeat mantras that I am capable of receiving/delivering information that may be hurtful but does not ultimately cause harm.

Tar_alcaran · 2019-12-18T22:07:17+00:00

Similarly: children fight, adults discuss.

Just because someone says something unpleasant doesn't mean they're wrong.

pinkliquor · 2019-12-18T22:18:18+00:00

It’s also not healthy to feel like you can’t talk about how you’re feeling. But that’s what happens with a toxic partner. I bottled up all my emotions in my last relationship because I was too afraid of causing a fight or him saying something that would just make me feel worse.

RayneSinclair · 2019-12-18T22:17:15+00:00

"A Divine partner." That sounds heavenly.

osweII · 2019-12-18T22:19:01+00:00

Ladies, how can I be better at this? I don’t want to be the toxic partner but I have such trouble with conflict and deal with it by always being upset. :(((

Halofriend101 · 2019-12-19T17:35:51+00:00

YES!

Title	Arguments vs. problem solving
Author	cupcakezncookiez
Upvotes	843
Comments	13
Date	December 18, 2019 4:06 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ecek10/arguments_vs_problem_solving/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/arguments-vs-problem-solving.686677 https://theredarchive.com/post/686677

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