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[–]powerline2500136 points137 points138 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Watch out for people that think anyone needs to earn basic levels of human respect. I dont walk around treating people who I dont know, and whove never done anything to me like shit "just because".
Alot of men these days think women dont deserve a modicum of human respect and even that has to be earned. Which is why women as a whole should turn away from their punk asses.
Its not like they even have the upper hand. We do.
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
"Respect has to be earned" = what some of my most NVM exes said when I would be feeling emotional (because of how they treated me) and asked for more respect. I was outperforming both of them in many aspects and was so sweet and accommodating. I was very brainwashed and didn't understand why I "had" to be so sweet and they were "allowed" to be assholes because I was not enough.
[–]SayNadFDS Apprentice48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
"Respect has to be earned"
There are two types of respect: 1) Basic human respect, and 2) Respect for achievements and character. The first one is your right from birth, the second one have to be earned.
Scrote be taking something true and twist it for their own selfish reason, again.
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yep. I was supposed to have both (I demonstrated my loyalty to them, did nice "girlfriend" gestures, etc.) and was treated worse than dirt with maybe a few compliments about how I looked here and there.
[–]MalloryDameFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm so sorry you had to go through that... No matter what we do, it's never enough. They just want more and more, without reciprocating.
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thanks. They acted like they settled for me, but frankly I settled for them...
[–]MalloryDameFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I have no doubts about that!
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🥰🥰🥰
[–]_Atalanta_FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My mantra: Respect is a right, Trust is a privilege ✨
Amen!
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely this. Thank you for mentioning it. Growing up with a narc father I was conditioned and raised to have to “prove” myself to my dad in order to get basic respect and recognition from him. As long as I did what he told me to and had basically no autonomy of my own, then I was deserving of respect and neutral treatment. Knowing I deserve respect even if I’m just being me and not “performing” to please someone else and standing up for my own desires is something I still feel guilty for. Especially when it comes to toxic men it can be overwhelming to deal with the guilt of wanting my own respect after being abused and held back for so long
I’m slowly learning. If a man makes you feel like you need to be conditioned to perform to get basic respect, run. That shit is a red flag and I’m trying to remember I deserve respect simply for the fact that I exist
[–]comet2004FDS Newbie49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I dated a guy like this and the entire time I felt off about it and I think this is why. Leading up to the 1st date he was kind of douchy looking back. Took 24 hours to respond to my texts, postponed 1st date, didn't seem super enthusiastic via text. I went along with it and basically just mirrored him and figured he was just shy/didn't think much of it. On the 1st date he did some things that annoyed me (poorly planned date and being late) and I gave him major attitude and ended it early and left and I don't think he expected that because he's successful and girls probably put up with it. All of a sudden, started being treated with more respect. Started texting more frequently, more warmly, planning dates better. And you know what? it kind of weirded me out whereas before I didn't notice...just because now I know all along he knew what he was doing and wasn't just shy. I cannot trust a guy whose respect I have to earn...a good person worth dating is genuine from the get-go towards everyone.
[–]throwthisawayred3FDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
i dated someone like this too. they put everyone in a hierarchy of who they can treat like shit and who can treat THEM like shit (aka they'll have to respect). i don't fuck with anyone who's constantly evaluating pecking order and assigning respect based on it.
fuck off. you don't get to be a patronizing dickwad and then suddenly act all small when i don't take the bait.
unfortunately, i really prefer being nice and polite. i SHOULD've been like you -mouthed off and left early. we never followed up with each other after that. if i was meaner, maybe he would've, but that's just the Pickme in me talking.
[–]comet2004FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I prefer being nice and polite too lol he pissed me off to that extent which is why I found it so bizzare. I remember leaving the date not even with an excuse I literally was just like "....ok well im going to leave bye" and then being shocked when he literally immediately texted me after saying he had a good time and wanted to see me again. I was like wait what now you text me right away?
[–]throwthisawayred3FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He must've been REALLY obnoxious then. I guess my guy had a little more grace...which isn't saying much...
These dudes I swear. Clueless at best. And DEFINITELY should not be in the dating pool.
[–]PoorPlainObscureAt-Risk Pick Me Youth5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This so much. This kind of person who can't handle being equal, and you have to keep them down or else they will try to keep you down. It is a constant battle to be with them because you have to constantly defend your boundaries and every time you relax and let down your guard they will try to walk all over you.
It is exhausting to be around those, I much prefer someone who will recognize my worth without me playing hard to get and make them work for it and all those bs games.
[–]gcsubthrowFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The. Audacity. Never ceases to amaze me.
[–]MalloryDameFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex would withhold affection and attention from me and when I asked (begged!) for them he would say (in a joking manner) that I hadn't done anything to deserve them... This was 7 years down the line! He knew it made me crazy and enjoyed the hell out of it. Even though I fought him on it in the beginning, eventually really started to believe he was right. That's the kind of power they have. Wise up, ladies.
[–]HmtnswFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Seasmoke_LVFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not auditioning for treatment I know I deserve.
Q U E E N!!!!!!!!
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[–]powerline2500136 points137 points138 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist57 points58 points59 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]SayNadFDS Apprentice48 points49 points50 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist13 points14 points15 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]MalloryDameFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MalloryDameFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_Atalanta_FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]comet2004FDS Newbie49 points50 points51 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwthisawayred3FDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]comet2004FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]throwthisawayred3FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PoorPlainObscureAt-Risk Pick Me Youth5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gcsubthrowFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MalloryDameFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HmtnswFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Seasmoke_LVFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link