Do HVM actually want different things than LVM?

LunarCannons · 2020-05-24T16:17:17+00:00

TL;DR

HVM have a lot of “unpopular opinions” compared to LVM.

He doesn’t need porn to masturbate. Pornography makes them more uncomfortable than aroused. They do not understand the appeal of Strip Clubs, Hooters, Orgies, etc. They won’t talk in detail about their sexual relationships to their friends. He does not sexualize every female he sees on the street. He legitimately desires to be a good husband/family man. In the heat of the moment he wants to give his women pleasure. He does not talk shit about “ugly women”, “slutty women”, “Ew gross body hair!?”, “Men who are ‘pussy whipped’.”

EDIT: My first/ original post is hidden and pending review because I quoted some of OPs terms. Oops 😬.

2020-05-24T16:10:43+00:00

I think it's about having morals and self control rather than blinding following their desires. Being aware of the consequences of their actions Knowing the world doesnt revolve around their pp

shellshocked8 · 2020-05-24T19:25:49+00:00

A HVM doesn't put himself in situations where he knows he might be tempted. For example, they might come across some porn or other suggestive material, a HVM will just keep it moving and keep scrolling, knowing that if he indulges he might not be able to control himself. He won't be a part of chat groups where porn is being sent, he has friends that are in healthy, monogamous, respectful relationships. All of us can be weak when it comes to certain things. If you tend to never be able to control yourself when it comes to alcohol, a smart person stays away from the bars and situations where they know they might get tempted. Same with men, there are very few of them that can control themselves when it comes to porn etc...but the ones that are high value will realize this and stay away from temptations, and avoid situations where it might be present. It isn't hard if they really want to put in the effort. Most are just weak minded and have no self control, that is the difference between a HVM and LVM.

OrchidLion · 2020-05-25T08:45:13+00:00

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ceramicunicorn · 2020-05-24T16:28:21+00:00

I agree with what is said here. We can’t control our desires, we can only control what we do about them. i.e. a dessert of a whole bottle of wine and 6 cupcakes is tempting to a part of my brain, but I’m not actually doing it because duh.

Watchyourback1121 · 2020-05-24T23:54:28+00:00

I absolutely believe there are good men who are disgusted by porn. Sure, perhaps the image of a naked woman can stimulate something, but good men will challenge the objectification of women in themselves to the point where this stimulation is dampened and/or they can turn away from it and not be enticed.

I definitely do not believe all men are attracted to teens. This is a fairly recent fetish. Of course, there was always pedos and creepers but this was a minority. I believe many men categorize women in much younger age groups as "kids" and do not look at them sexually. They would actually feel disgust by this. Sometimes this happens organically to men, sometimes it happens after they have daughters of their own, sometimes they have to put some effort into their viewpoints.

I also believe that while we all can passively find other people attractive, we choose how much to pay attention to or value a person's attractiveness and thus "feel attraction towards" someone else. Just like women do, men can choose to put their energy into their partner and spouse and not be distracted by attractive women and therefore not desire anyone but their spouse sexually.

All of the above behaviors are rooted in power, dominance, objectification and misogyny. There are all socially learned and conditioned and can therefore be controlled. A good man will recognize this. But they are rare.

heliodrome · 2020-05-24T17:48:35+00:00

They may be attracted to many women and porn and threesomes, but they act with integrity around those feelings. We all have desires, but we know how to control them and how to be to be a HVP. We have morals and ethics and we have practiced the right thing so many times that it’s now ingrained in our character.

morrigan1618 · 2020-05-24T16:18:24+00:00

I would say yes. My husband abhors degeneracy in all its forms. Porn, threesomes, non-monogamy, fetishs, etc. 18 years olds are children to him, and he only had two partners before we met.

miss_throwaway2341 · 2020-05-24T15:13:55+00:00

From my experience every guy that I have been with seems to want something different in a woman sexually. For the most part the best sex has actually come from a strong mental connection. Ass and titties have not been part of that equation.

You should definitely not want to be with a man who doesn't find you attractive sis.

brazziere · 2020-05-25T02:59:56+00:00

I am 100% certain that there are MANY hvm who want different things and are not just exercising self control.

I know guys who are not at all attracted to women who have gotten a lot of cosmetic work done, but also don't demean women who do get it done and fetishize "natural women." I have known at least two guys who worked with teens who both said something like, "People always ask me about being a young teacher and if it's hard to not be attracted to students, and I always say, if you knew any actual high school girls, you'd see that they are basically children and it's impossible to see them that way." I know guys who are looking for (or have found) relationships with confident, smart women and don't want anything but a healthy monogamous life. I really don't think these guys are just putting on a facade.

I mean no one is perfect. Self control absolutely does come into it. There is no one who has never had a single imperfect thought in their entire life. No one, male or female, has never been attracted to someone other than their partner. No one, male or female, doesn't have some fantasy that isn't 100% wholesome. Having a thought doesn't destroy your value as a person or partner.

Porn I think is a slightly different matter because lots of hvm aren not Very Online, don't know that much about porn, don't know about the industry as it has evolved, and probably don't have very strong feelings about it. They may have only heard religious or misogynist arguments against porn and therefore might not have a problem with it. But they definitely don't consume much of it and definitely not into adulthood.

wolfthewoman · 2020-05-30T12:32:30+00:00

ALL men are sexually attracted to 18 year olds. You won't find even one man on the planet whose dick doesn't get hard at the sight of an attractive teenager. But HVMs have the common sense and decency to realize it's creepy and inappropriate to pursue them. HVMs value women for more than just their looks, youth, and fertility. They value personality, maturity, common interests, and common moral/values just as much, if not more, than looks and know they could not find an 18 year old to tick all their boxes.

ALL men desire more than one woman sexually. But for an HVM, the desire doesn't go beyond fantasizing.

One of the things that makes a man high value is the ability to overcome his nature and control his impulses.

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