Not going to lie - I got a case of the quarantine hornies and was texting with an ex co-worker I was attracted to back in the day. Nothing raunchy, just a bit of "wow you look great" kinda crap re: new pics we'd put up on the 'gram.

After an initial round of flirting he mentioned this liquor he likes that's legal in my state, but not in his (too high proof.) I said something like, oh yeah there's a Mom and Pop store near me that makes it - you should check it out. I added the store gets really crowded and the line is long so he should get there early if he decides to go sometime. (A helpful tip I thought!) Then, he has the audacity to suggest I wait in that long-ass line, buy two bottles, ship him one, and he'll pay for both like it's some kind of treat for me. ::wtf face::

First off - I told him earlier I hardly drink anymore, and second, what the hell kind of flirting is it for you to ask me to run your damn errands?? And ship you something I'm pretty sure is illegal to send out of the state. That would be 3 hours of my time for like a $60 bottle of alcohol I don't even want. It was so lame, my lady boner died.

But I didn't get sassy or clap-back like I wanted to - I just left him on read. And after two "just checking in" texts I blocked his ass. So satisfying.

Thankful to FDS for teaching me there's literally no upside to responding to scrote mommy-me shenanigans. And to any lurkers reading this - it's not cute to ask women (or really anyone) to run boring errands for your crusty ass like it's some kind of treat. Get a damn imagination!