Hey FDS-ers,

I went on my first date since learning about FDS and overall, I feel like I did a 4/10. The PickMeisha side kept coming up as eager attentiveness so I had to remember to calm down and stay posed. However, I did a good job at deflecting his repeated asks for the skeletons in my closet.

One thing that’s not sitting right with me is that he took the scenic route in exposing his sobriety to me. Let me explain:

  1. An hour before the date, I get the text “I hope they have good food...☺️”. And I’m like, ya sure, “Me too!”.

  2. As we put in our order for food, he asks for water. He makes a comment about how he’s trying to drink more water as a NY resolution. I’m thrown off by his decision (after all, we were at a fancy cocktail bar) but I decide to go with water too.

  3. I grab a vintage cocktail book that’s laying nearby and tell him that I’m going to flip to a page and it’ll be his favorite mixed drink. I land on a rum cocktail and ask “do you like rum?” He says, “I’ve never tried it”. Confusion sets in. He explains that he’s sober and says something about all the clues he’s left.

We talk for a few minutes. He says he has a family history of alcoholism so he’s never touched the stuff. I don’t care that he’s sober but I need to address this sneaky way of revealing it to me. He didn’t lie but he did a good job of covering up his sobriety until I point-blank asked him about alcohol. This leaves me with heightened skepticism and lack of trust. Especially since he was priming our interaction since the first text of the evening (men are strategic and I’m not gonna pretend like “I hope they have good food” text wasn’t part of the plan).

Do you have any advice on how to address it? Is it even worth it to go on a second date? Was there anything I could’ve done better?

Thanks in advance, happy to provide more info. -stars

Edit: I’m not sure how to respond to the comments about not having an issue with sobriety because I feel the same way. It’s not so much the sobriety factor but how he went about the date. I’m either overthinking it or picking up on a trend in behavior. Either way, I appreciate the responses! Thank you!

Edit pt 2: The guy and I had a short back and forth today over text where he basically said that people are gay today because it’s trendy and a choice that people make which is not something I agree with. I think my gut was picking up on something about him but it didn’t come across right when I put it into words. Again, thanks everyone for the responses. This guy’s goose is now fully cooked in my book but I was able to get a well-rounded perspective in the meantime through your sharing.