Ghosting

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-05-25T12:59:58+00:00

I disagree that ghosting is terrible and immature. I’m pro-ghosting. Please note that I am not talking about ghosting when you’re actually in an established relationship. That’s not ghosting, it’s abandonment and it’s shitty UNLESS you are fleeing an abusive relationship. Then ghosting is really some women’s only option if they don’t want to risk violence or getting hoovered back in with narc games.

Anyway, back to ghosting in the context of apps and the beginning stages of dating: you don’t owe these strangers online nothing. NOTHING. It’s that little seed of feeling beholden to complete strangers that allows women to continue to entertain wastes of her time. It sometimes even puts her in danger as she’s got it in her head that “ghosting is rude” and so tries to explain and paragraph some stranger she chatted with for a week. NO. You really don’t owe these people shit, I promise you.

2021-05-25T13:57:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Attributum · 2021-05-25T13:25:34+00:00

100% agree with u/pickmieshaexorcist. The risk of getting something negative back is simply too high. The percentage of men who will accept a brief rejection online with dignity and respect, is simply too low. If they would have to deal with repercussions if they were not respectful, then things might shift (a dating app, where women can give anonymous feedback based on interactions with the person? But I guess that wont really work, but might be worth to consider), but until that happens, nope ... ghost away. Only not ghost if you have very high indications that this stranger will treat you with respect if you reject him directly. But how could you possibly have such an indication with a stranger online?

ferociouslycurious · 2021-05-25T14:31:52+00:00

Ghosting is less than desirable BUT it’s recommended because so many men won’t take no for an answer. It just invites them to escalate their toxic behavior/responses.

millrice · 2021-05-25T14:22:45+00:00

One time I did the mistake of explainin a LVM's toxic behavior (I didn't know the term LVM/ NVM) which he turned back on me and I learnt my lesson. 👻👻👻👻👻

hopeful_flounder93 · 2021-05-25T13:56:06+00:00

FDS is pro-ghosting from the woman's end, for obvious reasons (the reasons you've outlined really well above, OP 🥰).

I ghosted my ex of 6 years when I found out he was cheating on me. Straight up disappeared, never responded to him again.

I also left a situationship-LVM at a gas station on our way home from a hike (and blocked him promptly thereafter) because he was throwing an emotional tantrum about an argument he had with his mom/taking his misplaced anger out on me, and I decided the status of our relationship didn't warrant that kind of stress.

My humble opinion though, is that when dealing with an LVM, ghosting is always a valid way to end things (maybe gray rock, if you're legally tied to them such that cutting contact isn't an option). I just can't think of a single example where a couple LVM red flags didn't spiral into the woman being gaslit or abused into oblivion, in any relationship I know of. Sometimes it happened quickly, and sometimes it took years... but she always would have been better off had she moved on.

Men ghost women for an entirely different set of reasons; usually out of selfishness and not wanting to hold up their end of the bargain (e.g., promising a relationship when they were only after casual sex from the get-go). Also, I don't think women, when sent a polite message about a genuinely decent person just not feeling things, would resort to the gaslighting and name-calling and absolute clusterfuckery we see from men we reject 99% of the time.

ANYWAYSSSS, just my humble opinion(s), haha 😂

2021-05-25T16:09:36+00:00

I tried not ghosting men on OLD for a while, giving them polite “this isn’t going to work out” messages instead. What did I get in return? Name calling. Don’t give them the opportunity to tear you down. Ghost.

shelballama · 2021-05-25T16:23:55+00:00

That's the thing. If they are unable to or unwilling to have an open and honest conversation that can be uncomfortable and to acknowledge and confront issues that they may have caused (like a mature adult), you're wasting your time, energy and throwing it into a pit whole stressing yourself out

GabbaG0ul · 2021-05-25T17:09:56+00:00

I don’t know why it’s drilled into us that everyone is entitled to “closure”. If you’re seeing someone, but you no longer want to, you can just stop seeing them. They don’t need to “ok” it or agree to you no longer seeing them. And men LOVE when women get worked up and emotional over something they did. It’s validating. Don’t give them that. Just. Stop. Seeing. Them. 🙌🌈

Wchijafm · 2021-05-25T17:20:50+00:00

Disagree. You dont owe anyone your time, explanation or a second chance. Ghost away.

Explaining doesn't mean they will improve themselves. It means they will do better at hiding the red flags for the next woman.

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Title	Ghosting
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	56
Comments	14
Date	May 25, 2021 12:51 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nkozw4/ghosting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ghosting.1188372 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188372

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