Hello, everyone. I am a new user to Reddit, but a long time lurker. I have lurked the GenderCritical and PinkPillFeminism forums for a few months, after becoming fed up with how my love life has played out, including my last relationship, as well as really analyzing male behavior after two sexual assaults. I work and have worked in HEAVILY male dominated fields, and am becoming more aware of their behavior and beliefs of women. I have found a lot of interesting advice on this forum, and I am very happy to have found a place that has female solidarity.

My issue as of late has been this one guy that I have been talking to a lot for the past month, but have known for almost a year.

I will admit that I did not adhere to FDS strategies and made it known that I was interested in him and technically made the first move. He told me that he had feelings for me for quite a while, since my ex and I started dating (8 months, ended two months ago). We texted frequently but I never "over texted" or double texted; he was always the one who did that.

His interest in me seemed very strong and he said that he would be interested in a relationship and wanted to see how it played out, as there is distance between us since I just moved out of state for work, but am in my home town visiting for the holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas).

Lately his texts have become low effort, one or two words, and will often have hours in between responses. I felt him pulling away but did not want to jump to conclusions. After a week of this slow fade I told him, "Sayonara. Have a nice life. As soon as it comes to light that I'm also interested in you I get a slow fade. Not interested in seeing someone that does that. ✌" He responds immediately with that he was sorry that I felt that way, but that was definitely not that the case, and that he was "so into me that it's crazy", but has been super busy lately (hes don esb some travelling lately). I had told him that I was fed up with people not being adults about what they want, even though they explicitly stated what they wanted in the first place, and I was sure he had experienced that himself. He told me he understood and that he had gone through that, and that he hoped he could be the one that changed that.

The texting hasn't improved and it's still very low effort and he doesnt seem to really be trying to hold a convo, at least for longer than five exchanges.

He's made it clear that he is sexually interested in me but did tell me that he had genuine feelings for me, and would like to make a relationship work.

We are supposed to meet up sometime this week, but I had just texted him that I did not want to meet up anymore as I felt he was not genuinely interested or wanted to make time, after about 24 hours of silence. He quickly responded that he was interested and had some time. I do not know what to do.

I am confused because he has done really kind things for me, such as driving across the state TWICE to help me with car troubles, after my ex, while we were still together, huffed and puffed about it, even though it was his car that was causing the issues.

I do not understand men... it appears that they want what they cannot have, and as soon as they get it, they lose interest like a child with a new toy.

I don't want to sleep with him and get my heart broken, so can any of you ladies talk some sense into me? Has anyone else experienced this, where a guy proclaims to be super interested, but his communication efforts say otherwise?

We are both ex military, if that matters. 23 F, 37 M. Yes, the age gap may be alarming, but I usually date older men; my ex was the same age. Yes, I understand that may be enough to warrant criticism, and I understand.