Has anybody else on here pretty much always been feminist/never been a pick me/always held men to higher standards than women, etc?

kirky500 · 2020-05-25T04:51:10+00:00

I did not hold men to high standards. I have had to learn. I didn't get alot of fatherly attention so it made me a bit desperate I think. Though not judgmental really of others

spreadmywings89 · 2020-05-25T23:16:39+00:00

While I can’t say I’ve “never been a pick me”, for me, it was only recently (within the last 5 years) that I started to adopt some pickme behaviors. When I was younger than 25, being single bothered me but I wasn’t going to change myself or lower my standards for any man. But when I turned 25, I looked around and saw that I was the only one who had never been in a LTR out of all of my friends.

I thought something was deeply wrong with me so I changed. I stopped listening to myself and started listening to all of the bad advice that was out there. It seemed that pickme methods were the only way out of perpetual singledom.

And where did it get me? Endless disappointment and still single at 30. But now, I look around at my friends’ relationships and I’d rather be here than where they are. So while it gets hard sometimes, I thank God that none of my temporary pickme trials led to any LTRs. And fortunately, these trials also provided a path to get back to my former self through FDS.

2020-05-25T04:46:20+00:00

I relate to this, I was lucky enough to have had a big group of only female friends through middle school and it really helped prevent the whole not-like-other-girls bs because guys were always on the periphery to us. A lot of those friends stuck around throughout high school and even though it became a mixed gender group guys came second-place to my life and I pretty much always choose singledom over dating. If I interacted romantically with a guy I never did anything uncomfortable for me (even if it was awkward for him lol).

But I think most importantly, l also deep-dove a lot as a teenager into internet communities because they fascinate me and that's when redpill was taking off. This plus a good upbringing with supportive parents gave me both foundation and a strong impetus to identify as a feminist from a super young age and that has never changed. Ever since then I have always prioritized female friendships. They're harder to cultivate in my experience but that's because they're usually actually genuine.

virginiadancer · 2020-05-26T01:39:18+00:00

Yes, probably because I realized pretty young that marrying trash was a surefire way to never move up in the world. 20 years as an adult leveling up and I'm surrounded by the absolute coolest people.

Happy-Muffin · 2020-05-25T07:53:00+00:00

Yeah i have never been a pick me. In fact, for the longest time i was baffled by peoples behaviors and what women allowed. I thought i was crazy! But, i spent more time with Jesus, took purposeful time writing out what i felt and why. Worked on (still working on) shedding things about me that dont bring me joy or make me better - and eventually found out that im right and theyre pickmes haha

svntorini · 2020-05-25T12:23:12+00:00

I wasn’t a pick me and I have never been judgmental but I would say that I have held men to lower standards. I think that stemmed from self esteem and confidence issues as well as being too nice and too eager to please in all aspects of life, not just with men. All in all l’d like to thank FDS for saving my life.

postsexhighfives · 2020-05-25T14:31:54+00:00

the closest ive been is that i used to refer to myself as a libfem but as soon as they started with the whole sex work is work/trans agenda/WOMEN ARE JUST AS BAD etc etc i was o u t

divdec · 2020-05-26T16:28:45+00:00

I was a pick me that held men to higher standards than most pick mes so as soon as I started learning about this stuff it resonated with me really quickly. I never gave in to doing degrading things for men’s pleasure like anal, threesomes, tolerating porn, etc. I briefly got into BDSM because I fell for that whole “BDSM is about cOnSEnt and cOmMuNIcaTiOn” CRAP thinking it would lead to a more fulfilling relationship with a charming narcissistic abuser I had a crush on. He threw me off by telling me he would “respect my boundaries” and a whole load of crap about how being a Dom is about learning about your partners desires and limits and it all sounded good until I trusted him and he turned out to be nothing like what he said.

I always had some semblance of self worth and never stayed with LVM for very long. My longest relationship was a year and most of my relationships lasted for 3-6 months before I couldn’t tolerate their bs anymore. Once the honeymoon phase was over and men stopped being on their absolute best behaviors i was OUT. I could never understand why other pick mes would marry and have children with men they constantly complained about. I always knew that there had to be better men out there, but just didn’t know how to approach dating. I thought having sex on a third date was normal and didn’t even consider that I could hold out as long as I wanted.

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