has anyone else developed an avoidant attachment style in romantic contexts with men because of misogyny?

darkhorse8419 · 2021-03-20T16:39:13+00:00

You can never really trust them. You have to keep vetting for the rest of your life. It’s no longer a desire of mine to remarry

CowgirlMolly · 2021-03-20T17:48:31+00:00

I have totally developed an avoidant attachment style with men. You know what, though? I hate this talk of “attachment styles.” It’s victim blaming.

I can form secure attachments with women because I have had largely and consistently had good experiences with women and have found female friendships to be reciprocal and respectful.

Not so with men. When I started dating in my 20s, I certainly didn’t start out being avoidant, anxious and insecure. Nor did I subconsciously seek out men who were, rather I just found that men are dishonest, entitled, self-serving, that most are looking for a servant or a sex doll to show off, and that they’re going to belittle and mock my accomplishments, interests and values because they see me and anything I enjoy as inferior, as beneath them, and my brain adjusted accordingly.

It’s maladaptive for women to form attachments to men. Being avoidant is a logical response to misogyny and abuse.

Federal_Advantage440 · 2021-03-20T16:57:05+00:00

Yes. In addition to this, I’m a hopeless romantic with a fear of commitment, so go me!

_queeeen_ · 2021-03-20T18:35:11+00:00

The Attached authors even say that attachment styles, while typically stable, are in fact plastic and can be molded by traumatic life events.

NoneOfYourBusinessPS · 2021-03-20T14:16:24+00:00

Yup, single and enjoying my array of sex toys here for more than 7 years, out of sheer choice, which are vastly superior to any man. I am being hit on more times than I can remember when I'm out with my girlfriends and so are they. And the answer is always a big, fat NO. The look on their face and the way they walk away after the rejection, is priceless. 😂😂

Always remember, THEY need us. We DON'T need them. Don't give them the satisfaction, ladies. Stay away from them and be happy.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-03-20T17:53:07+00:00

Yes single for going on three years now. Every date I go on he seems to be a different shade of weird. I keep some hope in finding a HVM someday but don’t care that much honestly.

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2021-03-20T14:55:11+00:00

Ive never been more repulsed by men than the past two days - two separate occasions first- was in mcdonald's late at night waiting for uber home after work- straight white guy in preppy clothing with two girls also quite chic looking - all three were REALLY drunk, The girls were stumbling but managed to work the self serve touch screen to order fries, the guy started unzipping his cargo shorts and pulled out his dick, shouting "where is the toilet" slurring his words and storming around like an angry toddler- the bathrooms were shut, he stroms outside- pissed on the sidewalk then came back to the the self serve touch screen and starts randomly jabbing at it (with his dick/ piss hands) he couldn't work it so he moves to the other machine then he spat on it because it wasn't working- at this point on of the girls who seams to be his gf is hanging off him like hes some sexy prized possession and goes "let me help you babe " he then licked her face "playfully" she giggles like "hehe so cute" she's pandering to him and asking him what he wants and works the machine for him, then he goes right up to the service counter (has big plastic screens up and he starts fogging them up with his breath and drawing in the fog (like a child) and demands his food while also sticking his fingers in his mouth and sucking them (like a baby sucking their thumb) his dick piss hands might i remind you. Calling him a child is an insult to children- he was more like an animal with brain damage. His gf was like quite normal well dressed good looking and drunk but not being gross, but was hanging off him like she was proud and being kind of territorial. It was revolting. the whole thing made me question humanity. I wanted to call him out but i didn't want to be a target for some drunken rage.

second instance, I was at work and a group of 10 young men- all dressed like they own a boat but clearly dont- (white shirts, cargo shorts, white sneakers or boat shoes (NO SOCKS ) dumb fuck hats (those hideous peaky blinders old english paper boy caps ) all around 25 were drinking heavily and becoming rowdy treating the staff like shit, all acting like they think they are top shit and they were with a few older men that were the fathers (maybe it was a bucks party) they act like they are super important but they were so fucking foul, i just noticed they all had DEAD EYES like no warmth to their faces just like predator dead eye rapey faces.

It wasn't just me, ALL of my colleagues and staff were avoiding them and grossed out by them.

Its so hard to call myself straight when straight men are in the most part absolutely fucking disgusting.

Im not about to become a lesbian because unfortunately its not a choice, Im just not sexually attracted to women, I love women they are nicer smarter funnier etc, and Im not a- sexual. Im just so grossed out by these losers. The way society has celebrated and raised the man to this level of impunity has been detrimental to their evolution and made them so spoiled and toxic. So many heterosexual women feel the same, its not incel, its volcel- Voluntarily Celibate because straight men are by and large totally unfuckablely gross pig animals.

edit this post got me a superfan! slid into my dms to ask if I was in fact this losers gf, and to let me know the story was funny. He must have really resonated with this foul behavior to reach out to me, and is in deep deep denial of how much self hate he has for his disgusting and pathetic life. *blocked Was that supposed to be an insult to suggest I was the gf? 😂 My brain is freezing trying to comprehend this level of stupid.

voodo2020 · 2021-03-20T14:27:53+00:00

Me too sis, me too

nebsemi · 2021-03-20T14:18:09+00:00

I've never been hurt by straight men directly, but I have SEEN it happen to other women. I have learned that straight men are dangerous by just observing straight men and straight women around me. They don't care about you as a person - you're just a robot that offers free therapy, cleaning services, and sex. They just do the minimum requirements to keep you around. They're addicted to porn of all kinds, violent, overly emotional (they get angry over their favorite team losing ffs), lazy, opportunistic, and gold-diggers.

I'm 21 and I've never dated men and I scare them away when they get the audacity to approach me. The man has to pass through so many tests to get me to even consider him as a potential partner.

@men I don't need your help, I don't need your fucked up love, and I don't need your dick. You literally add zero value to my life, if not subtract value from it. I'll get more action and satisfaction from a dildo.

/rant

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-03-21T02:55:09+00:00

Yeah it's really tough. I'm in a state now where I am also grossed out by men's sexuality. And as I become aware more and more of men and porn, the thought of a man penetrating me just annoys me.

Keep following your intuition.

Title	has anyone else developed an avoidant attachment style in romantic contexts with men because of misogyny?
Author	bloodmoonrisiiing
Upvotes	304
Comments	15
Date	March 20, 2021 8:35 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m92vtw/has_anyone_else_developed_an_avoidant_attachment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/has-anyone-else-developed-an-avoidant-attachment.1190338 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190338

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