How can I stop forgiving so easily?

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-08-25T21:56:04+00:00

Get angry. Get affronted. Really think hard about what they had to do/think of you to do that to you. Think about how you would never treat someone like that.

Women often aren't in touch with their anger due to repression and shaming.

AbundantOverflow · 2020-08-25T22:10:44+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with forgiving people. You forgive for yourself so you can free yourself from the mental attachment to being wronged.

The key is to not forget what was done and set appropriate boundaries going forward. Some offenses are worth completely removing people over and others mean you just need to adjust your treatment and expectations of them. This requires discipline and practice. It also requires self-love. Once you value yourself, your mental health, and your time appropriately, you will inevitably be less willing to tolerate patterns of behavior that require forgiveness.

Hipster-Aurora · 2020-08-25T23:22:07+00:00

Forgiving is good. Forgetting and letting them play you again is what you want to avoid. That's what block n delete helps with!

Snoo32629 · 2020-08-25T22:22:22+00:00

I used to be like this too. I forgave so easily because I would always see the other person’s side and try and understand why they did what they did. You need to stop being understanding when they don’t deserve it. I don’t know how your relationship is with yourself, but you need to treat yourself the way you treat those closest to you. Whenever people do my friends wrong, I get so upset for them. Once I started loving myself in the same way, the easier I found it to not forgive the people who do me wrong so quickly as well. I feel nothing now when people who do me wrong cry, complain about how bad me being upset with them makes them feel, or do anything that would’ve evoked my sympathy/empathy in the past. Practice loving and respecting yourself, and turning your empathy/understanding on and off like a switch. These two things together are so powerful and life changing. Good luck 💖

lilpizzapocket · 2020-08-26T02:30:31+00:00

Forgive but don’t forget.

We keep score whether we like it or not. If you keep forgiving and they keep upsetting you you’ll become dissociated from yourself and open to more repeated abuse.

Remember, they broke your trust so act accordingly. Distance emotionally and physically from them every time you “forgive” them. If you’re basically out of touch because they’ve repeatedly upset you then it’s for the best.

People only change when you leave lol

KetoKittenAround · 2020-08-26T00:40:49+00:00

I tend to forgive quickly as well.

The problem is only if you forgive people who you KNOW you shouldn’t or haven’t shown true remorse.

You can forgive allllllllll you want. Just don’t belly up to their table of pain and eat from that buffet.

Forgiving is for you and not for them. That is the honest truth. Also, don’t kid yourself that you forgive. Be honest with yourself.

Don’t keep scooping up that “hurt me” ice cream and dressing it up like it’s a dessert.

pineycitrusforest · 2020-08-26T01:37:43+00:00

I hold grudges. Wish we could trade, tbh!

Title	How can I stop forgiving so easily?
Author	jaden2244
Upvotes	11
Comments	8
Date	August 25, 2020 5:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/igg8bw/how_can_i_stop_forgiving_so_easily/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-can-i-stop-forgiving-so-easily.172623 https://theredarchive.com/post/172623

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